Loosing It
by SVU101
Summary: SQeuel to Better Off Alone Nothing was going right. Nothing was going planned and this little problem of mine was never going to go away. UPDATED, finally!
1. Chapter 1

Loosing it

Loosing it

Prologue

January

Gabriella's POV

I was in the living room in a pair of sweats and hold t-shirt. My arms were crossed under my chest careful not to touch what was under my shirt that would give me a sore shiver through my body. I was standing before the fire place looking at the picture my mom had put up two days go. It was one of the full family. It had taken us at least ten try's for this picture because Lucy and James kept looking away. I studied my face in the picture where I could see the fake smile radiating off into my face and into the living room. The make-up I put on that morning trying to cover the dark circles on my eyes didn't work. I looked at Lucy and James they were nine months old and looking prefect. They were little angels and fell asleep once their heads hit the pillow. I turned around and looked at my mom and Jim. I stopped calling him Dad just a few weeks ago, but when I talked out loud I called him dad just make them not worry about me. After all they had a hand full with the twins. I turned around and took my five steps to the couch and sat down on it bringing my left knee up to my chest. Jim and mom were sitting across from me looking scared. I kind of knew what they wanted to talk about, but I didn't want to hear them say it allowed then I knew it would become real. I noticed how small my knee looked, but I ignored it and looked up. "So what's up?" I asked trying to sound like a happy person. I don't think I succeeded because their faces were still worried. My eyes drifted off to my knee where I was tracing words on it with my finger. I could see my mom's body shift uncomfortably on the couch from my line of vision.

"Uh well Gabi, your father and I noticed something different…" she said trailing off. I could hear the nervousness in her voice. She was trying to choke back the tears I looked up to confirm my theory. She had tears in her eyes. Now I was really worried. Did they know about…they couldn't have I made sure they didn't know. I made sure I hid everything in my room. They couldn't have found it. "We um, your weight…" she said looking like she was about to break down.

My weight…I smiled a little in the inside. That's all she was worried about. Well that's what happens with this, my problem. You loose weight and look anorexic. "What about it mom?" I asked.

"Well Gabi, when you were first using drugs you looked just like you do now. What your mom and I are trying to ask is if you were doing drugs again?" I looked up at Jim he looked hurt and disappointed.

At that exact moment I wanted nothing more than to get up and tell them everything, but I couldn't because I knew it would break their hearts and I don't think I could do that anymore. I felt out raged that they were actually sitting there and just noticed this problem when this problem started in November. It took them this lone three months to find out what was wrong with me. I took a deep breath in and let the words out before I could even think. "Do you think I would tell you guys if I was using drugs again? And my name is _Gabi_." I said getting up and running out of the living room and up the spiral staircase and into my room. I locked the door behind me and looked around my room. I pushed myself off the door and over to my mirror. I lifted my shirt off of my body and looked at my new scar in the mirror. I pulled my shirt down angrily. I was an idiot. I was stupid and I just…I just want to re-start this whole school year over again.

I looked in the mirror, but this time at my hair. I had cut it to my shoulders and surprised everyone at school with it. It was just two inches below my ears, no shorter, no longer. I measured and made sure it was two inches below my ear. I grabbed a hair tie off my dresser and tied of hair into a bun that was small. I walked over to my bed and fell on it letting it engulf me into my sleep.

I turned over using my elbow as a pillow. I let out a sigh. Nothing was going right. Nothing was going planned and this little problem of mine was never going to go away…

A/N: Well I hope you all liked the Prologue. School and Finals are over for me. Now all I have to day is wait for my test results. I'll just be happy if I get a 65 on my Global and Earth Science Regents. As for my Math A Regents I got the highest score in the class, happy:). Ha-ha

So who watched CAMP ROCK? My friends and I watched it. Two of our friends hated it and had to stop them selves before they made fun of the jonas brothers before we kicked them out.

So this story will be drama filled. Also I am writing this story because some one inspired me to. They have been in my life since I could ever remember. Always giving us treats over the fence we have that's in our yard. This person is my neighbor and is the best I could ever ask for. At the end of the story I will be revealing why she is so important to me and why she fits into this story. Until then You'll have to read and see if she's in this story.

Thank you!

Lisa


	2. Chapter 2

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 1

October

Gabriella's POV

I could hear my alarm clock going off right next to me, but I couldn't help, but let out a groan as I turned in my bed forcing my arm out of my blankets and hitting the snooze button and then quickly pulling my arm back in for warmth. Jim had broken the central air in the house making the central air on twenty-four even. How he did it we don't know, but it was funny to see him read the manual ten times to fix it. So I buried myself in my blankets every night. I peeked from under my blankets and saw that it was six. I had to get up. "Ok…one…two…three." I threw my sheets off of me and jumped out of bed. I walked into my bathroom and turned the shower on only wanting to just crawl back into bed. I walked out of the bathroom and turned my radio on and went back into the bathroom and shed my cloths. After washing my hair thoroughly and rinsing off my body from the soap. I turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around my body. In my room I could hear Ryan Secreast (Yeah I can't spell his name, but I'm pretty sure we all know who he is.) talk about Miley Cyrus's new picture scandal. I rolled my eyes, you think she would learn. I shivered and went back to brushing out the knots in my hair. After that I pulled my hair into a pony tail and went out into my room pulling out a pair of panties, bra, white shorts and a blue t-shirt. After getting dressed I turned my radio off and grabbed my school bag car keys and what not. I put my black flip-flops on as I left my room. I walked into the twins room and turned on the light. I dropped my school bag outside the door and walked over to Lucy's crib. "Well hello there." I said as she giggled. They were five months old right now. My mom and dad decided they were going to separate the twins and put Lucy in her own room when she was four, but for now this was easier. I took Lucy out of her crib and brought her over to the changing table.

"Oh Luce…" I groaned and made a face as I opened her diaper. She was the worse one to change. After I changed her diaper and pulled on cloths on her I went and set her in the car seat that was next to the door. I walked over to James who was still fast asleep, but once I touched him his arms spread out like he was trying to hit me.

"OH yes James it's morning time babes." I said placing him on the table and doing the same routine that I did with Lucy. I walked around the rooms getting the diaper bag up for their day at daycare. I pulled the diaper bag onto my shoulder along with my school bag and carried one car seat in each hand. I walked into the kitchen and set them down on the table. I went over to the refrigerator and got their bottles out and solid food. My mom started them o the solid food just last month and they weren't spitting it up as much as they use to. After feeding them and packing a few bottles in their diaper bag I quickly got an apple and ate it. I looked at the clock. 7:30AM

"Ok lets hit the road." I said carrying them outside into the heat. I closed the door after setting James on the ground in his car seat and picking him up again. I walked over to my SUV and opened the door setting Lucy's car seat in. I closed the door and walked over to the other side and set James' car seat in too. I closed the door and walked around my car and opened the driver's door. I got in and could feel the heat in the car. I turned the car on and opened all windows and the roof top window. When I was shopping for this car I was looking for a white Jeep with a sun roof, but I saw that this white SUV could hold all my friends when we went out and it was useful especially with the twins. I turned the radio on and put my bag and the diaper bag on the passenger seat.

Another thing that was great about this car is that I could play movies in it. The car was a gift from my mom and dad. I got it a week after school started. I placed the Barney DVD in the DVD player for the twins to watch keeping the volume down. I absolutely despised that big purple dinosaur, but they loved so I let them be happy. I pulled out of the drive way and set off to their day care. My mom and Dad never asked for me to do this routine in the morning, but I was more than happy to do it. Plus their day care was on the way to my school. It seemed pretty pointless for them to be driving the opposite way of their work, plus they got up at like five so they could be coming home early to spend time with us.

After I got the twins settled in day care I rushed out to my car and drove to school. After pulling into the Senior parking lot I put the windows up and turned the car off. I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I shut the door and locked it. The school grounds were filled with students. I walked towards the entrance and smiled. I could see my friends sitting on the steps laughing. I smiled and walked towards them. Jason had left just before school started. He got a scholar ship to some school and his parents wanted him to take it, of course Kelsi was devastated, but she soon let it go and found out for her new found crush; Ryan. Ryan asked her out yesterday and form here I could already see their hand intertwined. I ran up to them and jumped onto Troy's back that was facing me.

"Whoa." He let out as he caught my legs.

"Well good morning Mr. Bolton." I smiled against his ear. I could see the goose bumps rub on his neck once I jumped down off of him and kissed him on the cheek. "So what's up?" I asked every one.

Taylor had her Chemistry book opened up studying for her test today. Zeke wasn't here probably still home. Chad and Ryan were caught in a heated discussion and Troy, Sharpay and Troy I guess were talking before I came in. "Nothing we're trying to convince your boyfriend that there is Global Warming." Sharpay said putting her hands on her hips.

"There's not! I mean look do you see trees dying?" he asked.

"Troy, honey, go look at the polar bears." I said.

"But there's not." He said looking at me. I looked up and saw his baby blue eyes.

"Yes there is." I said smiling as the bell rang. We all got up and headed inside to the cool air conditioned school. I went to my locker as did the others. Pulling out my books for the next two periods. My school schedule was busier than ever. Turns out I failed Health last year. I'm now being forced to re-take it again. I was taking all AP classes and only had my lunch period free. I sometimes helped out tutoring kids during my lunch, but I usual liked to keep that period free.

I sat down in fifth period in my Math class. I was in Calculus. I had to admit it was confusing. Taylor sat down next to me. "Hey how was your Chemistry test?" I asked her.

"Easy, but I think I got one question wrong. I kind of dozed out on it." She said. I nodded my head. She and Chad were going strong.

"Hey, do you have work today?" she asked me.

"Yeah, I'm switching with Jake. He's going to take my Saturday shift." I said. I started working at a restaurant to yearn money.

"Oh…" I could tell none of my friends liked Jake. I think they all thought I had a crush on him. I didn't, but even if I did he wouldn't date me. Because one he's gay. I looked at the teacher as she started today's lesson. It was a Friday and that's all I cared about.

At the end of the day I put my books away and glanced at the Agenda book that held all my home work. I only had math and Health. I groaned. I hated health class. I mean I get it, don't have sex without protection and all that other shit. We were learning about diseases and cancer this month. I had a neighbor who was HIV positive. I never really found out until I saw the pills she was taking for it. Anyways back to hating it.

I closed my locker and started walking to Ryan's where we all met up. "Hey how were your classes?" Chad asked me.

"Great. I just wish I could not take health class." I murmured. My fantastic morning somehow turned into the worse day during health. This Junior, Mike, kept on hitting on me and such. No matter how many times I told him no he keeps on asking me out.

"Ha-ha, well if you paid attention last year…" Troy said trailing off.

"Well I was too busy looking at you and making you jealous." I said smiling as he pulled me into his arms as we kissed.

"Mr. Bolton!" Zeke yelled out. Troy and I tore apart looking around for his father.

"Hey you ruined a perfectly good kiss!" I yelled at Zeke. The others were laughing.

"So Gabi, are you done filling your college applications out?" Kelsi asked.

"Uh, yeah almost, just two more and I'm done." I said. I needed to fill out my Harvard and Yale applications. Well they were already filled out, but I still needed to write the essay parts. The applications are due in the first week of February. (Ok this may not be true, but in this story it is.)

"Hey what are the plans for this weekend?" I asked.

"Well I say pool party at our house." Sharpay said.

We all had pools, but at the Evans there pool was huge. "Oh I so agree!" Chad and Troy yelled.

We all laughed and made plans to be at the Evans house tomorrow. I headed off to my car and got to work. I had taken my black pants and blouse out of my locker once I got there and changed in the bathroom. I walked out and smiled at Jake who also worked here. I put my cloths on the shelf in the locker and got out my apron. "Hey when does your shift end?" he asked me.

"Same as yours you idiot." I laughed closing my locker and putting my phone on vibrate.

"Oh…yeah well I was wondering do you want to get ice cream? I want some really badly." He said.

I raised my eye brow. "You just want to see that guy at the cashier." I said smiling.

His face turned bright pink and I laughed. "Yes, but please come, pretty please!" he gave me the puppy dog face. "Fine just don't drool on me." I said as we walked out into the diner and got ready for our waiting costumers.

**A/N Well hello every one! Ha-ha ok so a few things, I'm not very good with cars, so Gabriella's car might be a little off. All I know is that cars bring you places and you need gas for it. Lol. Ok so I'm hoping this chapter was a good introduction. **

**Please just click that little purple button and write a little note on the story:).**

**Thank you**

**Lisa**


	3. Chapter 3

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 3

October

Gabriella's POV

Jake was literally drooling over the guy at the cashier. I had made gagging noises while they were talking. I wonder if the cashier guy knew Jake was flirting with him…I pulled up into the driveway turning off my car. I was tired. Thank god tomorrow…well today is Saturday. I could sleep in till what ever time the girls let me. I walked up to the front door and went through my bag for my keys. I always told myself to keep my car keys and house keys on the same key chain, but no I never did that because I am an idiot. Finally I pulled my house keys out and dumped my car keys in my bag. I unlocked the door and then closed it as I stepped in. I walked into the kitchen and looked at the note my mom left me.

Gabi,

You probably won't eat it since you're tired, but it was pizza night so your slice is in the fridge. Go to bed at a reasonable time. I love you.

Mom

I smiled. What she meat by reasonable time is that she would often come into my room and fine Troy and I out on my balcony sitting in the chair snuggled up together. He would often come here and we would talk and talk and talk for hours. We mostly talked about nothing. I walked to the fridge and took the pizza out and brought it upstairs cold with a bottle of apple juice. I went up the stairs through the kitchen and to my room. I opened my door and was met with a chilly breeze, Jim still didn't fix it. Ugh. I closed my door and went over to my balcony door and opened them to let some hot air come into my rom. I set my plate and juice on my dresser. I took two bites of the pizza before taking my shirt off and throwing it into my hamper. And went into my bathroom where I took a quick shower.

I took my shirt that belonged to Troy and pulled it over my head. If you're all wondering if Troy and I spelt together the answer is no. yes we spelt together, but not sex slept. But I had stolen this shirt from Troy when he was in the bathroom. I don't think he knows that I have it. I smiled as I went to my bed with my food and turned on my TV. I flipped through some channels when I finally got to a move called 'The joy Luck Club". I loved the book so I watched the movie. (ha-a I'm watching it now)

I had fallen asleep sometime around two in the morning. I missed the ending to the movie that I started watching after "The Joy Luck Club". I fell asleep to thinking of Troy and I. It was of us just growing up and getting married. We had three kids and two more on the way. It was a kind of weird high school crush dream, but hey I'm…shit I'm a senior. That's what I said when I woke up. It sometimes hit me that I was graduating.

I turned to lay on my left side and looked at the clock, but once I did I screamed because I saw Justin just sitting in my chair. I sat up from my…dream dream and took in long breaths. I brought my knees up to my chest. I haven't even thought about him since I last met him in the park that day. "Just a dream." I whispered to myself. I looked around my room. It was just a little after eight. I shook my head and got up looking at my balcony doors. I walked over to them and closed them locking them before I walked away and went to my dresser for my bathing suit. I pulled out my dark blue bikini and pulled it on and pulled out my white shorts and pink tank top.

I walked downstairs to see my mom and dad feeding the twins. "Hey." I said going to the fridge getting some orange juice.

"Hey what are your plans for the day?" Jim asked me looking up form Lucy.

"Uh, pool at Sharpay's." I said turning around drinking from the cup my mom handed to me.

"Oh that's good honey when are you heading out?" mom asked me.

"That would be now." O said kissing them on the cheek and kissing the twins on the head. "Bye love you!" I yelled running out the door with my flip-flops in hand. I got into my car and drove away. I was so tired, but I just wanted to go to sleep. I yawned as I stopped at a stop light. I looked to my right and had to take a double take. Justin was at the wheel of the car. I looked forward and pressed on the gas pedal once it turned green. I finally reached Sharpay's house under ten minutes when it usually took me thirty.

I got out of my car and looked around. Why was I seeing him all of a sudden?

**A/N yes it's VERY short, but I soooo promise that the next chapter will be longer.:)**

**AND I'm also going to ask a question. What do you think is wrong with Gabriella? I would just like to see everyone's opinion on this:)**


	4. Chapter 4

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 4

October

Gabriella's POV

I shook my head and walked inside the Evans home. The door was always unlocked that and we all had a key to each other's homes. I walked through the house going straight to the backyard. I finally got to the kitchen from here I could hear the laughter of my friends. I smiled as I walked into the back yard and saw everyone in the pool. "What's up everyone?" I asked as I kicked my flip flops off and put my bag on the table that was filled with food and drinks.

"Finally!" Chad yelled. "We were waiting for you."

"Chad it's only like nine." I said.

"Well we started at seven!" he said swimming towards the edge of the pool.

"Why?" I asked them.

"We were bored and you wouldn't answer your cell phone." Sharpay said floating in the water.

I took my shorts and tank top off and went over to the edge. I sat down and put my feet in the water and looked at my friends who were comfortably talking to each other. I swung my feet back and forth in the cool water as I soaked up the sun. I was still tired from this morning. I just wanted to forget what I saw. He's gone. He's somewhere in…ok he's not here he's somewhere else. I sighed and closed my eyes and jumped into the pool holding my nose. I resurfaced in Troy's arms. "Having fun there?" he asked me smirking.

"Yeah…" I said pulling away from him and swimming towards Taylor. "Hey."

She looked at me and back at Troy whose eyes I could feel boring into my head. She smiled at me and rolled her eyes. "Why don't you guys just get a room?" she asked me.

"Because…well I want it to be…I want it to be like well just special." I said. I knew what she was talking about. She was talking about me and Troy having sex. We have thought about it and we have gone farther than just kissing, but the farthest we ever went was just taking off our tops, nothing else.

We both agreed when we both felt comfortable around each other and really felt like it was time.

"Awe, well that's sweet." Taylor smiled as Sharpay swam over.

"Kelsi can't make it. Her grandma died last night. Her family and her are going to England for two weeks for the funeral and stuff. I sent her our wishes." She said.

"Awe, no not her grandma." Taylor and I said together.

Kelsi had lost her grandpa just two months ago. Sharpay nodded her head in a sad way. "Well, better not tell Ryan. I think he'll actually go and get on a plane to go comfort her." Taylor said. I laughed.

"I heard my name!" Ryan yelled from the other side of the pool.

"We're talking about your butt!" I yelled.

I could see his face turn red and the guys laugh. "Thanks?" he yelled back. It sounded more like a question.

"Hey why are we separated?" Zeke yelled.

"I don't know, it just happened." Taylor said as the guys swam over to us. I looked down in the water. My legs looked pale as I kicked them back and forth to keep me from going down.

"Gabi?" I looked up and saw Troy talking to me. His deep blue eyes looked concerned. "You alright?" he asked me.

I looked around and everyone else was looking at me. "Yeah. I just need a moment." I started swimming towards the stairs of the pool and got out. I grabbed a towel from the table where my bag was. I dried off my legs and arms and walked into the house with the towel wrapped around me. I walked upstairs into the bathroom. I needed to calm down and forget about him. I was just… I don't know normally I'm not thinking about him. Normally I'm thinking of Troy and the way he makes me melt in his arms when he holds me at night.

I sat on the toilet after putting the seat down. What the hell is wrong with me? I see him twice and I break down. Great. Fantastic.

"Hey Gabi?" I herd Troy knock on the door. I looked up. I tasted something salty go in my mouth. Ugh I was crying over _him_. I wiped my tears and stood up. I opened the bathroom door and saw a dripping wet Troy standing in front of me. What was worse? He was shirtless and dripping wet in front of me. I looked straight into his eyes and not his shirtless…topless body.

"Yeah…" I said trailing off.

"You ok?" he asked me.

"Yeah I just…I've been seeing things lately, but I'm fine." I nodded my head.

"Justin?" Troy asked me.

"I just…I saw him when I woke up in my rocking chair and then I saw him driving next to me on the way here. I just…why now? Why now when everything's good?" I asked Troy crying.

Troy came over to me and hugged me getting beads of water onto my skin. He rubbed my back. "Shh, it's ok. You're just having a stressful time. It's ok." He said rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry for even thinking of him." I cried.

"Hey, Gabi, it's ok. You have to think of your past sometime." He said to me.

"Your not mad?" I asked him pulling away.

"No, never." He said brushing my tears away smiling at me. I smiled at him and hugged him.

"I love you." I whispered to him.

"I love you too little buggie." He said.

"Buggie?" I asked pulling away from him raising my eyebrow.

He shrugged. "Don't know." He said smiling. "You okay to go down?" I nodded my head. I had my cry over him, now I'm going to have fun.

"What are we doing now?" I asked as we walked down the stairs, but before Troy could answer he fell down the stairs. You see the stairs didn't have carpets on them and since Troy was dripping wet it made it slippery for him.

"Are you ok?" I asked laughing at him as I got near the bottom where he was laying on his back.

"Argh, I will, but only if you kiss me." He said.

"Hah, no way." I said a smiling playing on my lips.

His eyes widened and he was clawing at his throat like he couldn't breath. "OH, I can't breath. Sometimes do CPR!" he gasped.

"Oh no, poor Troy, he's dying…oh well." I shrugged as he closed his eyes. He sat up and stared at me.

"You would let me die?" he asked pretending to be offended.

"Of course not." I said kissing him and standing up. I walked away as I left him dumb founded. I knew he hated when I just kissed him and walked away.

"Hey!" I could hear him yell. I squealed and ran outside and dropping my towel along the way. I jumped into the pool and form under the water I could hear another splash. I resurfaced and swam over to the gang and went behind Chad.

"He's going to kill me!" I yelled as I laughed.

"What?" Chad said not getting the whole protect me thing.

"Oh Gabi it's time for payback." Troy said in a singing voice.

"Ew, you sing weird!" I laughed.

"Oh geez guys we do not need to see this. Go into my room if you really need it." Ryan said.

I smiled and swam over to Troy. I laid my head on his shoulder as we talked to the gang. "So Gabi you had big news yesterday. What was it?" Sharpay asked/

"OH I found the prefect prom dress!" I yelled.

"Where? I haven't even begun to look for mine." Taylor said.

"It's from David Bridal…yeah anyway. It's prefect! It'll a nice baby blue and it's just like a wedding dress, but I gout it for two hundred." It took me a week's worth of tips to save for this dress, but it was gorgeous and it was on sale and it matched Troy's eyes.

"I need to see it." The girls yelled.

"So I guess this means I'm wearing a blue tie?" Troy asked me.

"Huh?" I asked him.

"Well I was planning for my tie to match the color of your dress." He said to me.

"Awe!" the girls said together.

"Awe that's go cute. Thank you baby." I said kissing him on the lips. I smiled and kissed him once more. I still got the butterflies when I kissed him.

"Bombs away!" Troy and I both got hit with water balloons. We tore away from our kissed and looked around to see Ryan and Zeke holding water balloons. When did they get out of the pool?

"You are so dead!" Sharpay yelled as she was hit with a balloon by Ryan.

After everyone joining in on the balloon fight we dried off and ordered pizza and went into the living room and watched a movie. I snuggled up to Troy. I felt the heat radiating off of his body and that only made me snuggle closer into his chest. Under my ear I could hear his heartbeat and I smiled as I closed my eyes listening to the rhythm of his heart beat.

By the time I woke up it must have been ten in the morning. I felt something moving under me and I looked up to see Troy fast asleep in his cloths from yesterday. I looked around and saw that everyone else was still asleep. "Hmmph." I groaned rubbing my nose on Troy, but I forgot I was on him so he woke up wrapping his arms around me as if protecting me.

I looked up and grinned at him innocently. He looked down at me. His eyes were groggy. "Hi." I said in a tiny voice.

He smiled and let out a deep breath. "Hey, what time is it?"

"Um, ten…I think. I'm only guessing here. Do our parents know?" I asked him, whispering.

"Yeah. I heard Sharpay call everyone's parents before falling asleep herself." He said with his eyes closed again. I poked him in the ribs.

"Don't fall asleep on me now…" I whined.

"But it's too early." He cried trying to turn over, but my body was preventing him to do that.

"Boo you whore." We both looked over to Sharpay who was mumbling in her sleep.

I tried to stifle my laugh as Troy just laughed loudly. And as a result of Troy's laugh everyone woke up. "Why? Who fucking woke me up?" Taylor sat up. I looked at Troy and we just laughed loudly again.

"Oh god, someone shut those two up!" Ryan cried. By this time I fell off of Troy and onto the floor holding my stomach. Next thing I knew pillow was thrown at my head.

"Fuck sake, I think they're having a stroke." Zeke said form his spot. I could hear Troy behind me trying to catch his breath.

"Oh my Jonas…" I said in between breaths.

"Oh my Jonas, that is shitty." Chad cried.

"What is this cruse city at ten in the morning?" I asked still giggling.

"Well someone woke us up!" Sharpay yelled scratching her head.

"Well you mumbled boo you whore, in your sleep." Troy said.

"I'll show you boo you whore." She said standing up and walking pass us into the kitchen.

"Hey Shar, we're here." I yelled.

"Yes, you are, but your not food." She said.

"No, Sharpay don't. I'll cook breakfast." Zeke said getting up and running into the kitchen.

"Well can I help?" we heard her ask.

"NO! There is no way I am eating that food if she touches it!" Chad yelled.

He had gotten up and ran into the kitchen and so did Taylor and Ryan. "Should we get up?" I asked him.

"Um…I think so. Hey you ok from yesterday?" he asked me with his hand on my shoulder.

I looked over my shoulder and smiled. "Yeah, I'm more than ok…you're still not getting a kiss from me. I have morning breath." I said getting up and walking into the kitchen where everyone was helping Zeke cook the morning breakfast.

**A/N ok that was chapter 4, yeah. So I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope it wasn't all modish switching ha-ha. Uh…it's about one in the morning, but I'm not posting until Fanficiton is back up. It's been a long time since it's been down huh? Oh well, um I'm sad to say none of the answers are right, but you all could be close. I am going to be dropping hints in the story, I am planning you the problem to appear in chapter eight. :) I already have that chapter typed up, but not chapter 5,6,7 haha. **

**Ok I'm going to sleep. I'm tired. It's summer vacation I passed all regents and school! Junior! WOO!**

**Thank you all for reading. **

**You see I gave you a long chapter, so that means I should get a review and a long review if you wish:) please it's just that little purple button down there. Just click go!**


	5. Chapter 5

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 5

October

Gabriella's POV

I laughed as Troy and I walked inside my home. I dropped my bag and keys on the table in the hallway and walked into the kitchen where my family should be. "I still can't believe he set them on fire!" Troy exclaimed. I laughed and shook my head. "They were eggs…eggs! He set eggs on fire." He said as we walked into the kitchen.

"Who Ryan?" my mom asked from the kitchen table.

"Yes." Troy nodded getting the cups as I got the bottle of lemonade out of the fridge.

"So how was your day? I suppose it was fun." Jim said. Troy poured the glasses of lemonade as I looked at the note pad of messages from last night.

I frowned as I read over a message. "Who died?" I asked looking up at my mom who was holding Lucy.

"Oh, you remember her right? She's your dad's sister. Surely you remember her…well she died of the same cancer of her mom, your grandma." My mom said. I looked at Jim who shifted in his seat. I guess he wasn't use to my real dad still being mentioned between my mom and me.

"Really? But Annie was like only…what twenty-five." I said still re-reading the note. My Dad's mom had him when she was really young which is probably why she was so supportive when my mom had gotten pregnant with me. But she had Annie just two years before she died. After having Annie she was diagnosed with cancer and it spread quickly throughout her body. I had inherited a lot of money from seeing as I was her only grandchild. I had that money set up in an account and I wasn't going to touch it till college. The money she had given me was good enough to set me through college and if I wanted a marriage and divorce.

Well I visited Annie whenever I could she was like my sister and I was sad that she was now gone. Somehow I knew my mom was going to get me tested for cancer of some sort especially now that she sees that it runs in my dad's side. Come to think of it. She was the only thing left from my dad's side. "I set up an appointment for next week. I just want to make sire you don't have any sort of cancer." My mom said bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Uh yeah…so which cancer?" I asked taking the drink from Troy. I smiled as I saw him down at the table as I leaned against the counter. He had taken Lucy out of my mom's arms which my mom happily agreed to leaning back in her seat drinking her coffee.

"Lung cancer. It's a shame she didn't even smoke. Did she?" My mom asked.

"No. Oh well."

"Well your going to be getting her will. You're the only one left in your father's family. No one else. I'm not going to be surprised if Annie left you something." I smiled and nodded.

"Well Troy. How are you doing these days?" Jim asked.

"Oh um, I'm good. You?" he said as Lucy hit him.

"Good…well I better go to work." Jim said standing up and leaving.

"Is he ok?" I asked mom.

"He's sick and won't listen to me. He must have thrown up twice last night. I'm calling an AC tech to come over later. Now you two go have fun, but please not too much James is upstairs sleeping he has a cold." My mom said taking Lucy out of Troy's arms as we headed upstairs.

I flopped on my bed as soon as I entered the room. "I missed you!" I said grabbing one of my pillows and hugging them. I could hear the soft click of my bedroom door being closed.

"Crap, you weren't kidding when you said your room was freezing." Troy said lying down next to me.

"Told you." I said throwing the pillow over him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we were still laying side wards on our sides. He pulled me closed and I could immediately feel the warmth from his body mixing in with mine.

"It's not nice to be mean." He said smirking as we closed the gap between us. I kissed him and pulled back.

"Well you're a smart ass." I said as he pulled me in for another kiss. He pulled back and smiled at me.

I pouted and he laughed. "You don't like your own game, huh?" he said as he kissed me again.

"No." I mumbled between our kissed. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue enter my mouth and rub my tongue. I giggled and squirmed in his arms. He always made my squirm when he rubbed my tongue.

"Hey so I was thinking," he said as he pulled away from me. His breathing uneven as mine was, "Friday me and you on a date. No gang this time." He said.

I smiled for the last like six dates we've had the gang had "accidently" bumped into us and joined us for the rest of it.

"If I come will I get another kiss?" I asked.

"Not until you say, "Troy's THE hottest man on earth." He said smiling. I kicked him lightly.

"Oh shut up." I laughed.

Troy left about two hours later after he started complaining that I smelled and then I made fun of him because he smelled way worse than I did.

I hopped into the shower as I heard my mom open the house door to one of the AC techs. I washed my hair and got out of the shower. I dried myself and just threw on a pair of shorts and t-shirt. I didn't feel like putting anything special on. I groaned and down at my desk and did my two things of homework in an hour. I went downstairs noticing that the air seemed a little less…cold. I watched as my mom waved the guy good-bye. She closed the door and I noticed she was wearing Capri's and my t-shirt.

"IT's finally fixed!" she said smiling.

I smiled, "Your wearing my shirt."

She looked down. "Well it was the only thing I could find." She said walking into the living room where Lucy was sleeping between two pillows on the couch. "So how are you and Troy?" she asked sitting down as I flung myself down on the couch.

"We're doing great. Going on a date on Friday. Hopefully the gang doesn't find out…again." I said smiling.

My mom smiled. "You've come so far. I'm just happy that you're happy. So did you send in your applications?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just have two more. Yale and Harvard." I said.

"Gabi you better hurry I mean the faster you get yours in you have a higher chance of getting picked." She scowled me.

"Hey, they're not due till February. Plus I'm having trouble with my essay. I mean usually every one writes about Mother Theresa or their mom. I want to write about something important. Something that means a lot to me. It'll come to me…soon." I said. In truth I had no idea what I was going to write. In my notebook upstairs I had essay choices and they all seemed fake if you asked me. "Ok I'm going to cook dinner." I said getting up.

"Hey no, you sit down I'll cook it." My mom said.

"Mom don't worry I can cook. You've had a long especially with James. You got sleep for a while." I said picking up Lucy who was just starting to wake up.

"You sure." Mom asked as she stood up.

"I'm positive. I'll wake you up when it's ready." She kissed me on the cheek and went upstairs to her room.

"Ok well missy I'm guessing it's time to go and try and feed up some of that yummy food." I said walking into the kitchen with her on my hip. I pulled a pot out the cabinet and filed it with water. I put it on the stove and let the water boil as I got some…ew…carrots and peaches out for Lucy. I looked at her and read the label out. She made a face and I laughed. "You poor kid. I think I just threw my food at mom. Hey maybe I can teach you that and she'll buy you some yummy food. How about that?" I asked her. Just then I heard James start crying on the baby radio. I strapped Lucy into the high chair and ran up the stairs in the kitchen and into the baby's room. I grabbed James out of the bed and ran down the stairs. I entered the kitchen to se the can…well glass of baby food on the floor broken.

"Shit I left that with you." I said. I turned to James who was wailing my arms. His face was red. "Shh, its ok I have you. Don't worry." I said swaying a little and bouncing him in my arms. His cries lowered and finally came to a stop. I set him on his high chair and felt his head. Well you don't have a temperature. That's good." I walked over to the counter and grabbed a paper towel picking up the glass and food Lucy pushed off her high chair.

I went into the fridge and got some cheese, sauce, butter and two things of baby food for the twins. I went over to the pasta cabinet and took out a box of pasta and threw the whole box of pasta into the boiling water. I looking over at the twins and got two baby spoons and sat down in a chair in front of them. "Well at least this one looks promising." I said screwing off both tops and taking a spoon full of Lucy's food and bringing it to her mouth. I didn't bother putting their bibs on. She spit some out but I had brought it back into her mouth. After finishing feeding her I feed James who took his happily. "Now your milk." I said getting up and cleaning up the baby's food. I went over to the stove and stirred the pasta. It was ready yet. I got two bottles and filled them with milk and set them on the high chairs. I took James out of his and held him in my arms as I held the bottle to his mouth.

You see they hated when being fed their milk and they weren't held. They would scream and their little lungs would protest against them. I had learned to do everything with one hand because of this. I turned the stove off and carefully moved the pot dragging it along the counter top and spilling it into the drainer thing. I looked down at James and smiled he was fast asleep. The bottle was laying on him. Well Luce wants hers. I laid James in the small little old fashioned playpen that was cushioned in the kitchen. I lift Lucy out of her high chair and started feeding her, her bottle.

After about an hour I had both twins in the play pin asleep and I had the dinning table set. I also made Jim his favorite past with butter, moms with sauce and mine with cheese. Jim had just walked in the door. "Hey go wake mom up please!" I yelled as I lit the two candles. I looked at the two place settings and walked back into the kitchen and took a bite out of my plate that was on the kitchen counter. I wanted them to have a nice evening. I put the materials I used in the dishwasher or in the fridge. I walked back into the dinning room with a bottle of wine for them.

My mom and Jim were already sitting at the table. "Gabi where's your food?" Jim asked.

"Well here's the surprise you guys are going to have dinner while I have mine upstairs. The twins are fed and asleep and I'm about to tuck them in upstairs. You two are going to enjoy a nice dinner together. But remember these walls are thin so make sure to put music on before anything happens." I smiled kissing them good-night. I made two trips bring the twins upstairs first, I cleaned and changed them tucking them into bed. Then I went back downstairs and got my food and water. I could hear them laughing and I smiled. Up in my room I watched TV and must of fell asleep that way…

**A/N OK so this was long. Ha-ha Now I'm going to sound a little whiny here. I have 13 alerts and I have only been getting about 6 or 7 reviews. Now I'm kind of hoping I'm getting more reviews******

**This time I'm Not updating until I get 8 reviews. shrugs sorry I'm kind of picky lol. But I might change it because I like writing these chapters. **

**Happy belated 4****th**** of July. I'm still recovering. How about you guys?**


	6. Chapter 6

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 6

October

Gabriella's POV

**Before reading I just wanted to say there's a hint in this chapter to Gabriella's problem:)**

I had woken up this morning to a nice acceptable warm room this morning. It was an inviting warmth and I was glad for it. I looked at the floor where I had thrown my sheets off the bed during the night. I got up not caring about my sheets at the moment. It was Monday. I hated Mondays. I wish we could just skip Monday through Wednesday. Those days just sucked…well that and I had P.E. those days which I hated. One because we have to run around the track ten times…well it's not that bad, but in the heat is what sucks. And second we start to sweat and then we have to take one of those really quick showers. Now I would be totally fine with gym only if it was last period, but my period is just after lunch. But that's beside the point. I went into the twin's room and turned on the light. Jim was still sick along with James and during the night Lucy had caught it. My mom was taking the three of them to the doctors. Heh. It's kind of funny. I woke up during the night to hear my mom arguing him. He didn't want to go to a doctor because he "wasn't" sick.

I kissed them each on the head and walked out of their room and into my room. I had to get ready. I pulled on the first thing my hands landed on when I opened my draw. I pulled on my short shorts under my yellow mini skirt and brown t-shirt. I looked at my hair. I had too much of it, but I never really bought my self to cutting it. I rolled my eyes and just pulled it into a pony tail.

I walked downstairs with my bag and keys in hand. I went into the kitchen and grabbed and apple and walked out the door. I today was not in a good mood. I was in one of those Monday moods. The one where you just want to crawl into bed and shut your phone off.

I got in my car and just sat there for a minute or two before closing the door and turning the car on. I opened all the windows including my roof top window. I hate Monday's, did I mention that?

I pulled into the school parking lot where everyone was walking into school. I got out of my car with my apple in hand and book bag in my shoulder. I was ready. I walked across the lot to school. My flip-flops scratching against the ground where I didn't lift my foot up completely.

I could see at least two girls crying as I passed them to my locker. Their friends were standing around them trying to get them to stop crying. I dropped my bag at my locker. "Hello." Chad mumbled to me. His locker was next to mine this year.

"Grr." I replied weakly yawning into my locker as I opened it. I couldn't remember which class I had first.

"You have English." Chad said closing his locker. He knew the routine with me every week. I smiled at him.

"Thanks. Tired?" I asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Very. Can't we just skip Monday?" he asked me.

"I don't think it's possible to even skip Monday or any day for that matter." I said taking my English and Chemistry stuff out and shoving it in my bag. I looked at the apple that I had placed in my locker. I scrunched my face up. I didn't want it. I held it up to Chad's face.

"Ugh no. that's too healthy for this early…that did not make sense." He said closing his eyes.

"Well good morning" Chad and I made confused faces as we looked at Sharpay.

"Are you high? I want some!" Chad yelled causing a few student sot look at him.

"NO." Sharpay said looking at him. "I had coffee, coffee, coffee."

"Where's my cup?" I asked throwing my apple into my locker where it was going to stay until I didn't feel lazy to throw it out.

"I didn't bring you one…sorry." She said making a sad face then smiling again.

"SO I was thinking. Since Thursday is Halloween I say we have a party on Friday." She said as we started walking to English first together.

I looked at her. I couldn't Troy couldn't. It was our date night. Date night with no friends. "Um I can't how about Saturday?" I asked.

Sharpay was making a thoughtful face and then smiled. "Sure that's even better!" she squealed.

"Oh, but I have a doctor's appointment the next day so nothing too tiring." I said.

"Argh, your life is too busy. You have work today?" she asked as we walked into the English room where Troy was sitting with his head on the desk sleeping.

"Yes, the whole week." I stopped in front of Troy's desk. I turned to Chad and Sharpay and smiled.

"So last night I had amazing sex with Brad." I said loudly. Troy jumped up and started cursing. "Babe stop its ok." I said over Chad's booming laughter.

"You didn't have sex with Brad did you?" he asked me.

"No, Troy. I was joking. Don't worry the only person I'll ever have sex with is you." I mumbled as he pulled me into a kiss. We pulled away quickly when the substitute came into the class room. We all sat down as she started to write the assignment on the board then sat down. I looked over at Sharpay who was texting on her phone under the desk.

I took my cell phone out of my bag and touched the screen as it lit up. Jim had gotten me the new phone form Verizon. It was touch screen and when I opened it up there was a key pad and screen. I opened my phone and started texting Sharpay and Taylor.

I was also doing my work too, but just peeking over to Troy who was soundly sleeping. Chad had taken Troy que and fell asleep. I could see drool coming out of his mouth and onto the paper on his desk. I laughed and texted Taylor. _Your boyfriend is drooling all over his paper .xoxo Gabissexy_

Taylor never texted me back because the bell rang. Chad shot up with the paper suck to his face. We all laughed and walked out the door. Before I knew it I was running on the track with the gang. We girls just ran at our own pace just wanting to shower and not do this.

"I hate running." Taylor groaned.

"I second that." I said.

We groaned and we ran. I decided to run faster. I only had two more laps to do and I just wanted to take a quick shower and get to my study hall class. But just as I was running pass the boys I fell flat on my face. The hot pavement was under my cheek and it was burning. I groaned turning over. The heat was too hot to make me feel embarrassed. I turned over ant my hand went to my left breast. It was tender. I knew what was coming by next week I would have my period. Stupid PMSing. I was one of those girls when before and during their period their breasts were tender and they hurt when you made a simple movement.

"You okay?" I heard Troy panting beside me.

"I want to sleep. I hate Mondays…" I said as I took his hand. He pulled me up. The teacher came up to us and said I could go into the shower early. I screamed YES inside my head instead of yelling it.

"Lucky bitch." I heard Kelsi joke to me.

"As long as I'm the bitch." I said smiling as I walked slowly to the locker rooms. I took a nice warm shower quickly and jumped out and pulled my skirt, short shorts and shirt on. I grabbed my bag and left the locker rooms and went to the library where I started on my Chemistry homework. Last period came around and I said good bye to my friends. I could tell that they were all going home and going to take a cat nap. I drove to work and got dressed in my work cloths that were in my locker.

After nearly ten hours of annoying customers I went into the locker room and just grabbed my regular school cloths and stuffed them into my bag. I did not really care as of now. I just wanted to go and finish my homework and go to sleep in my fluffy bed…I wonder if anyone made my bed. I forgot to make it. "Night Joey." I said walking out of the restaurant and to the parking lot to my car. I got in and just drove off. I stopped at the first red light and put my seat belt on. I didn't really five a shit about the law right now I just wanted to go home. I looked around the empty streets. It was pretty empty at midnight around here. I looked at the corner and just when I went to rub my eyes to make sure what I was seeing was right the car behind me honked.

I jumped and pressed the gas petal. Did I just see Justin again? Why the hell was he…I'm pretty sure he was somewhere, but not here. I pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. I slammed my hands against the steering wheel. "I hate Mondays!" I growled just grabbing my stuff and getting out of the car. I went through my bag looking for the house keys. I was just getting grumpy right now.

I found my keys. I was going to put them on the same key chain in class tomorrow. Opened the door and closed it. I went straight upstairs to my room. When I opened it all the stress went away. I smiled. There was Troy sleeping on my bed. His shoes were taken off and there was a note on his back.

I walked over to him and dropped my stuff on the floor. I took the note off his back and read it.

_Gabi, he came over and insisted on waiting for. He even used the door this time and not the tree. Just don't doing anything you'll regret. Love you, mom_

I smiled and shook my head. I went into my bathroom and changed into a pair of sweat pants and shirt and threw my work cloths on the floor. I didn't care anymore. I went into my room with my school bag and sat down at my desk. I finished all my homework in an hour and crawled into my bed where Troy's arms wrapped around me. "Your finally home." He mumbled in my hair.

"I'm home." I whispered and fell asleep breathing in his scent.

"Love you." He said.

"I love you too my big blue eyed basketball butt head." I mumbled. He chuckled and we fell asleep.

**A/N OK my back is now killing me from sitting here. Its like 230AM and im tired. I'm sorry it took me so long to update I was actually working on chapter 7 the date and then Chapter 8 dun dun dun…but now I'm thinking that the problem will reveal in chapter 9, but the big hint is in chapter 8 so yeah. Ok thank you all for reviewing******

**I need 8 more reviews before updating:)**

**Byebye**

**So after reading this chapter and catching the hint if you did. What do you guys think it is??**

**One person already guessed the right answer. **

**OH TWILIGHT fans did anyone see the new trailer?? AHH!!**

**Sorry if this chapter was boring too. Trust me the next chapter will have you loving it and as a warning Chapter 7 is Rated M…you guys can guess right:)**

**IT's…some time in the summer lol. Ok night:)**


	7. Chapter 7

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 7

This chapter is RATED M

November

Gabriella's POV

It was Friday and the last day of the week, thank goodness. I don't think I could've dealt guessing on where Troy was taking me tonight for our date. He's been giving me notes and flowers and chocolates. Our date day, our day free friends day. I had doodled all over my notebook like a little girl with a crush. I felt fourteen again. I never really felt like a kid well I did when I was high…ok lets not go there. I rolled my head around with my hand pressing against my neck. I was dead beat tired. My mom had gotten sick so everyone in that house besides me was sick and I was avoiding them like the plague. I was not getting sick. I kept bugging Troy on where he was going to bring me all he said was just dress comfortable. Dress comfortable what the hell did that mean? I mean what if he takes me to a restaurant that's kind of dressy and I'm wearing jeans? I hated this fact. The bell rang and I stifled a yawn as I got up and put my books in my bag. Damn it. Did she give us homework?

I walked out of my class and looked around to see if there were any students who I just had class with to get the homework. I heard someone laugh behind me. I turned around and saw Jake. I crossed my arms. "It's page 233 to 600. We have a test on Monday on it." he said.

"I hate history. I mean does he really think we have no lives over the weekend?" I asked getting my agenda book and writing the history homework down.

"Yeah well we all do." He said walking with me to my locker. "How's the family?" he asked me.

"Sick. How's the boy life?" I asked.

He smiled. "Well, you know Derek the cashier guy he asked me out! I never got that gay vibe from him. I mean did you?" he asked me.

"No I thought he was straight. Such a shame he was cute…" I shook my head smiling. I stopped at my locker. "Hey Chad."

"Hey Chad!" Jake said.

Everyone in the gang hates Jake, mainly because I sort of spend a lot of time and I "throw" my self on him. It's a sexual joke between me and Jake, but one thing they don't know is that he's gay. When Jake first told me he wished for me not to tell anyone! I promised. Not even his parents or best friends know. I'm the only one. Jake also always had this crush on Chad which was funny. Chad mumbled a hello to him. Chad mumbled a few words saying I'll meet you in the front.

"Hey when do you think he'll realize he's bi and wants to date me?" Jake said.

"Um the day Taylor and him break up?" I said, but it sounded like question. I got my books for homework and closed my locker bidding Jake a good-bye with a kiss on the cheek and promising to call him on Saturday to tell him how the date went. I smiled and went ahead to the front of the school where I could see Troy waiting for my.

"Hey." I said walking up to him and kissing him on cheek.

He smiled and the sparkle in his baby blue eyes shined when the sun shined on his face…boy that sounded cheesy.

"Ok," he took my hands in his and I could feel the blood rushing to my face, "bring a change of cloths for overnight and the next day."

I raised an eyebrow. "Where are we going?" I pleaded with him.

"Nope I'll tell you when we get there. I'll call when I'm outside your house." he said. I smiled and walked to my car looking over my shoulder and looking at Troy as he drove away in his car. I got in my car and drove home fast. When I walked in the door I could hear my mom coughing in the kitchen. We said hi and I went upstairs to get ready. I sat on my bed trying to think of what to wear. Well I already had my pj's on my bed and my toiletries. Um I think I'll just wear shorts…wait no…ARGH. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Sharpay's number like an angry teenager.

"What the hell does comfortable mean?" I asked into the phone.

"Um Gabi…this is Zeke. Hold on here's Sharpay." He said.

I repeated my question to her and she was confused. "Troy told me to wear something comfortable. What does that mean?"

"Oh so you _are_ going on a date. I knew there was a reason to you two love birds acting more loving this week...well just wear shorts and a t-shirt." She said plainly.

"But what if-." She cut me off.

"I know where he's taking you. He told us this week after he asked you so don't worry we won't ruin your night. And trust me it will be fine." She re assured me.

"Thank you." I mumbled. We talk for five more minutes, but then Zeke came back and told Sharpay that the cookies were done.

I fell back on my bed and closed my eyes clutching my cell phone in my hand. I let out a quick squeal and jumped up and turned my radio on and walked into my bathroom. I turned on the shower and went into my room where I went to my small walk-in closet and looked at my large collection of shorts and t-shirts. I tilted my head and shook it. I had to shower. I stripped my shirt off of my body throwing it on my bed as I walked to my bathroom loosing my cloths on the way. By the time I reached the shower I kicked my panties off and got into the shower cursing at myself because I water was too hot. I stepped to the side turning on the cold water waiting for the right temperature. Finally I went under the shower head and washed my hair and body.

I turned the shower off after the soap was fully washed off of my body and wrapped myself in a blue towel and my hair in a yellow towel. I looked in the mirror and walked out into my room and into my closet. I felt a chill as the cool air touched my damp skin. I think this looks fine. i pulled out my blue shirts with a brown t-shirt. That was for tonight then I pulled out a green pair of shorts and blue shirt for the next day. I smiled and went into my room and threw my tomorrow cloths on my bed. I stepped on my skirt as I walked to my dresser getting my bra and panties. Finally I was finished getting dressed. I looked in the mirror and made a silly face. I pulled my hair into a loose bun letting some strands falling out of it. I turned my radio off and pulled my headphones from my iPod on. I placed my iPod in my pocket. I danced around my room with the music blasting. I stuff my cloths into my overnight bag as I mouthed the words to one of Miley's new songs. I closed my eyes as I twirled around picking up my cloths off the ground and throwing them in the hamper. I turned around to face my door during my little dance and saw Troy. I stopped and took my head phones off. "How long have you been there?" I asked nervously.

He shook his head and walked over to me. "Long enough to see you dancing." He said kissing me. Every time felt like our first kiss and that's the way I wanted it to be.

"Ready to go?" he asked me.

"Oh yeah." I said placing my ipod on my bed and grabbing my flip-flops and putting them on. I grabbed my phone and over night bag and walked out of my room and downstairs with him.

I walked into the kitchen. "I'll see you tomorrow." I said smiling and blowing them a kiss.

My dad looked up. "Have fun and be careful." He sniffled. I smiled as Troy led me to his car.

"So what are we doing?" I asked as he turned the car on.

He turned in his seat and pulled out a…blind fold out of his back pocket. He smiled at me. "It's a surprise." He said tying the blind fold around my eyes.

I sighed in my seat as Troy drove away form my house. I fiddled with my hands. "Can you at least read me a book?" I asked him.

I heard him chuckle. "Now how can I do that while I'm driving?" he asked me. I shrugged and that made him laugh more.

"How much longer?" I complained.

"Gabi, don't worry. Just ten more minutes."

I huffed and puffed every minute. Finally the car stopped and I sat up straight. "We're here?" I asked. I could tell Troy was smiling. The door closed and I could hear foot steps. My door opened. "You know if we are in the middle of no where and you kill me I will come back a haunt you." I said as he helped me out of the car and took my over night bag with him, I hope.

"Trust me if I were to kill you I think I wouldn't being doing it this way." He said grabbing my hand. I could feel my stomach doing a little flip.

"Ok now I want you to use your senses to see where we are." He whispered into my ear. The nice cool winds already made me a bit chilly, but Troy's warm breath on my ear made goose bumps appear on my arms.

I took a deep breath in and I could smell…salt. I smiled and shook my head. "We're at the beach." I said turning my body towards him.

"Well damn it I guess I can't burry you here other wise the dies will uncover your body." He said taking my blindfold off.

"Why are we at the beach?" I asked as we started walking onto the sand. The sand felt warm as the sun began to dip into the ocean. Troy was carrying my bag and his.

"Well we are having dinner." He said pointing to my left where there was a beach house with a porch. On the porch was a table lit for two. I looked back at him and then at the house where we were walking towards.

"This is yours?" I asked as we walked up the steps that had little beads of sand on the steps.

"Well it's mine when I turn eighteen next mine. My grandmother left it to me in her will. And I thought why not use it for our date." He said. We walked inside the house, but Troy made a single for me to wait outside. I frowned and went over to the table where I sat down. I looked at the sun setting. The top of it was now setting into the ocean bidding a good night.

I waited patiently for Troy's return stifling a yawn before he came out. The door opened and I jumped a little. Troy was carrying two plates of food. "Ok you don't have to thank me for cooking because I didn't I brought it at a restaurant and just heated it up." He laughed setting the food in front of me and the apple juice in the middle of the table. I smiled apple juice became a drink we commonly drank between the both of us.

Troy sat down and we ate the food in silence mumbling a word here and there. It wasn't awkward silence it was more like 'I need to eat' silence. Troy finished first literally inhaling his food. I laugh at looked at his once green shirt. It was somewhat covered in ketchup. He looked down and I could see his face turning red which made me laugh harder. I put my fork down which still had its piece of chicken on it. I looked at Troy who was looking at me. I blushed and looked away, but looked back at him.

"Dinner was good." I said. What else was there to say? Troy nodded.

"Um do you want to go inside? It's getting cold." He said. I nodded my head as we brought our plates in leaving everything else outside on the table. Troy locked the front door and then looked at me.

"So show me your old room." I said. I looked around for my over night bag, but I guess he had put them away.

I followed Troy up the stairs passing the pictures that hung on the wall. I smiled as I looked at a little boy giving a cheesy grin to the camera. Troy led me up to the third floor which contained his room a guest room and a bathroom. My bag was in his room. When I walked into the room it was decorated differently from the one at home. It was painted brown with green leaves, but as you turned around the room they changed colors. "My grandma painted it for me." He explained.

I smiled as his arms wrapped around my waist. I face him in his arms. "It's very quiet and relaxing here." I whispered to him. "Much more different…I like it." I smiled.

"Well I'm glad." He said. He leaned into kiss me, but debated on it as he hesitated before brushing his lips against mine. This wasn't an innocent kiss. It was more of a passionate kiss. We never had one of those. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body and onto mine. His hands managed to sneak under my shirt placing them on my back.

_Flash back_

_I pushed the door open and walked into the room. "Okay, so I was thinking of getting something for the baby, you know just something, but I need help." I said looking up form my feet and stopping dead in my tracks. Troy's back was to me and boy was it all bare. He had his ipod headphone on and he was dancing and ladies he was just wearing a towel. I leaned against one of the lockers and watched him amused. It was hot in here, but he was maker me hotter. I couldn't help, but laugh really loud when his towel fell off. His butt was prefect not so round, but not too skinny. Troy turned around and saw me there laughing. His face turned read which made me laugh only harder. He covered his private, but he couldn't cover it much. I could feel tears coming._

"_Oh….my…god!" I breathed out. I was holding my sides._

"_Gabriella what a surprise." Troy managed to get out. I looked up thinking his towel was back on, but no it wasn't and he wasn't bothering to cover it anymore._

_I couldn't help, but stare at it. My laughing stopped. "Towel." I managed to get out. I blushed and looked the other way. In a minute I felt him sitting down next to me. "Hey." I looked at him he had his towel on._

"_Hey." I whispered as he moved a strand over hair behind my ear._

"_Sorry about that." He said smiling._

_Oh gosh, his smile. His prefect teeth. "It's ok." I whispered as he kissed me. I smiled against his lips as his tongue begged for an entrance. I gave a small laugh as I opened my mouth for him._

"_You'd think I'd remember how your lips felt like." He mumbled against my lips._

_Our tongues danced around each others as I giggled. Never in my life had I giggled before. He was making me into…a regular teenage girl. He started to lean me back onto one of the benches. I let him do so. I could feel the edges of the towel touch my jeans. It wasn't covering him anymore again._

_I couldn't help, but start laughing again. He pulled away and smiled at me. "What are you laughing at?" he asked me._

"_No, it's nothing, just um…this." I said looking around us nervously._

"_What?" oh Gabi I'm sorry I thought you were ready…or wanted it." he said getting up, but I pulled him back down._

"_Troy I'm ready, but with you I want it to be special not in the boys locker rooms." I said looking at him in the eyes._

"_Ok, just sorry." He said getting up and walking over to his opened gym locker. I sighed and pulled myself up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed bare back._

"_It's ok, just not in a locker room, more romantic." I said._

_He turned around in my arms. "I thought you hated romance." He said looking at me._

"_Well, I've changed, remember." I said smiling as he kissed me again._

_End of Flash back_

I smiled into the kiss as Troy deepened it. He pulled away and I opened my eyes. "You know I love you right?" he whispered as if we had to keep quiet because there were others in the house.

"Yes." I said wondering why he was acting nervous. His head went down to kiss my neck and I closed my eyes.

My hands went to open his green button down shirt. His hands grabbed mine and he looked into my brown eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked me.

"I'm positive. I love you Troy more than anything." I said as I kissed him. He responded to my kiss. The kisses I had with Justin were more urgent more desperate as were my kisses with Troy were gentle more meaningful.

Troy laid me down on the bed and I could feel his warm hands on the zipper of my jeans.

I could feel my heart speed up. We were really going to do this. I was feeling excited that I thought if we didn't quicken up I might throw up, but I wanted to remember my first time with him.

Before I knew it I was lying under Troy with just my panties on and he only had his boxers on. I suddenly felt self conscious as Troy looked at my breasts. I turned my hand covered them up. "Hey, hey what's wrong?" he asked me.

"They're too small." I said. His hand touched my chin forcing me to look at him. His eyes were sparkling.

"They're perfect." He said bring my arms around his neck. His kissed my cleavage and I giggled as his hair touched my nipples.

"I love you." He said to me.

"_I _love _you._" I said as my hands went to his boxers. I pulled them off of him as he kicked them off.

He looked down at my panties and looked at me. "May I?" he asked. I nodded my head. My breath was caught in my lungs as he stood up and pulled them off gently. My goose bumps were returning as I took in his nakedness. He looked breath taking with his abs showing and I thought I was going to faint here right this second. He climbed over me as I pulled him into a kiss. Troy's hand traveled up to get a feel of my breast. Our breathing is what filled the house. My hands were tangled in his hair, but I always wanted to do something. My right hand traveled down his back and to hi butt. I drew a heart on his butt and just poked it.

Troy pulled away and looked at me questioning. I smiled. "I always wanted to do that." I giggled.

"Well I always wanted to do this." He said. His head leaned down to take me hard nipple in his mouth I moaned. For five minutes…he did that for five minutes and he smiled when I moaned his name out. "Troy…"

"Are you ready?" he asked me as he kissed my lips.

"I'm ready." I said. Troy hovered over my body as he entered me. I gasped as we connected. Troy's forehead fell to mine as we stared into each other's eyes. I kissed Troy as his hips began to move on slowly at first but soon enough mine were moving with him, faster than his, the sounds I made were low and urgent.

As the heat built it changed and pushed us both toward fast and edgy, my fingernails dug into his back as he moved in and out of me faster and harder, ours moans filled the room as it got warmer and warmer. I could tell Troy was so close. Troy clutched at the pillow under my head even as he moved just a bit faster inside me. I clenched hard around him as my head flew back, a loud and distinctive moan ripped from my throat. Troy shuddered above me as my own orgasm brought on his own. His elbow trembled and he slowly lowered himself to my side. He wrapped the blanket that was at the end of the bed and wrapped it around us. We were still panting at our previous activities. I turned to look at him and he kissed me. We pulled away. During the whole thing all I could think about was us. Just us. His name was still on my lips as I moaned it hundred of times. Troy began tracing my shoulder blade with his fingers.

"Can I keep you" Troy whispered as our breathing became even, I could tell he was smiling.

I slapped his shoulder and opened my eyes. "Casper." I smiled kissing his shoulder.

"I'm sorry did I ruin this?" he asked me.

"No, you made it prefect. Our first time was amazing." I giggled as my body brushed against his under the sheets. I wrapped one of my legs around his and snuggled against his chest.

"I love you, you big blue head." I mumbled my eyes closed.

"And I love you brown head." He said.

I smiled and fell asleep. Dreaming.

"_I should get going." I said turning around, but his hand touched my wrist lightly and sent warm shivers up my spine. I closed my eyes and took in the smell. It smelled like sweat. Great way to remember this moment. But I will remember how my heart was beating against my rib cage and how I held my breath._

"_Don't. This is our first real conversation. I don't want to ruin it." he whispered. I turned around. "Dance with me?"_

"_There's no music." I said smiling. Justin never asked me to dance…not even a second did he. In fact we never did anything romantic. All we did were drugs and drink together. That what was our relationship was built on._

_GABRIELLA! You're with TROY…SHIRTLESS TROY NOT THAT OTHER GUY!_

_My face was getting red I knew it._

"_We don't need any." He said shrugging. The threw the basketball over his shoulder. He took my left hand and placing it on his bare shoulder. Wait. Bare…SHIRTLESS TROY!_

_I looked down and saw his six pack…his strong abs…I'm drooling, no I'm dreaming…no I'm dancing._

"_I meant what I said. I never did drugs since we moved here…since you took my book away, by the way the ending was great." I said to him._

"_But your wrong about one thing." He whispered into my ear._

_We stopped moving and his hand was on my lower back bringing me closer to him. "You're not Better Off Alone. Everyone has someone. Chad has Taylor. Kelsi has Jason. Ryan has Sarah. Sharpay has Zeke and I…I have you." He whispered._

_I pulled back a little to see his face. He looked…hopelessly. "Like I said before. I'm falling in love with you." He said before leaning down to kiss me._

And I was truly falling for him.

**A/N OK this was long. Ha-ha I hope you all liked it. the sex scene was the first time I wrote one. Sorry if it wasn't very detailed. Well there wasn't any hint in this chapter so yeah. I just wanted to thank you all who are reviewing. Please keep reviewing I'll update after 8 reviews or more******

**Nine more days till breaking dawn yay!!**


	8. AN

Dear Readers,

Dear Readers,

Ok I have a pretty good reason for not updating. One is my dad wanted the computer to be faster when I already thought it was fine, but no he wanted it faster. So my uncle the computer guy in the family wipe the computer did the little fast thingys, but he never finished it because he did it last minute when his plane was that day. SO no computer and then my dad went away with my brothers for camp for a week. No computer. It finally takes him a week to finish it which is today. But it's going to take awhile for me to get everything back and running and trying to get everything done.

And then there was drama with my friends and I…there always has to be drama huh? I'm tired and very sorry I'll try and get everything back up and running so I can update, but then again im now babysitting and my friend and I are trying to throw a surprised Gilmore girls party before school starts and I haven't even read any of my four books…fun…I'm not ready fro school…

Anyone read Breakign Dawn?!

Lisa

Night


	9. Chapter 9

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 8

November

Gabriella's POV

When I woke up I could feel the sun on my back through the window in the room. I turned around to look out the window and went to look at Troy. I frowned when I didn't see him there. I sat up in the bed pulling the blankets to my chest covering it. "Troy?" I called out. I turned to the bedside clock and saw that it was already two in the afternoon.

"Shit!" I mentally cursed out loud and threw the sheets and blankets off of my body. I didn't care if I was naked I had to shower get home get my costume for Sharpay's belated Halloween party and do my make-up…did I even get a costume?

I ran into the bathroom and turned the water on waiting for it impatiently to get warm. Where was Troy? Did he leave? I was really that bad?

Thoughts of him leaving me weren't very pleasant I jumped in the shower and grabbed the head and shoulders shampoo that was there. He wouldn't leave me. I let a sob escape my lips. "No…" I kept on repeating that quietly as I leaned against the bathroom wall. I heard knocking on the door.

"Gabi, you're up?" I heard Troy's soft strong voice echo through the bathroom. I immediately stood up and made sure that the soap form my body was rinsed off and that my hair was rinsed. I turned the shower off and grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped it around me and stepped out of the shower. There he was standing in the flesh looking at me smiling. "Is it my birthday again?" he asked laughing, but he stopped when he saw my red nose. I could see it from here too. Well I could see it in the mirror that was behind him.

He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my running his in small circles on my back while I cried into his green shirt. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked me.

"I woke up and you weren't there…" I cried. The reason seemed stupid, but I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him.

"Awe, Gabi, honey I'll never leave you as long as you want me. Well if you don't want me I'll still never leave you because you're too hard to resist." He chuckled. I smiled and pulled away from him. I could see the tear stains and the stains from my wet body on hi shirt and jeans.

"Sorry." I said wiping my eyes.

"Never be sorry when you're with me." He said kissing my forehead.

"Now your bag is right here," he said pointing to my over night bag that he brought into the bathroom, "I made breakfast so hurry up." He said leaving the bathroom. I smiled at myself and shook my head as I went up to the mirror and looked at my face. It was pinkish. I bent down and started getting out my bra and panties. I bent back up and pulling my panties on and my bra on. I bent back down and pulled the tank top over my head and stood up to pull my jeans on. I button them up and took the towel and began to get my hair a little dry, but as I did and looked into the mirror I saw Justin's grinning form.

I just closed my eyes and repeated that he wasn't there in my head. I reopened my eyes and he wasn't there anymore. I just dropped the towel and pulled my still knotted hair into a bun because I didn't care anymore.

Troy had made breakfast...well brunch for me on the porch. The beach that day was a little chilly as the gray clouds were out. After gathering all our things we left the beach house to go to our own homes to go and get ready for Sharpay's Halloween party. I had taken another shower because I couldn't get the knots out of my hair. I looked…well digged through my closet to find a costume. I found a witch costume that I thought I would wear. The dress came up to mid-thigh, but I didn't care. The hat was purple and kind of had a veil with spiders on it.

I threw the hat on my bed and just put some purple and black make-up. I left my hair the curly wave that descended down my back. I just grabbed my purse with all my stuff and my hat that I would put on at the house.

At Sharpay's house we all sat and watched scary movies and stuffing our faces with junk food. Chad and Zeke threw up because they just dived into the food and didn't pace them selves. One by one we fell asleep, but Troy and I snuck into a guest room of the house and fell asleep in the guest room. Hand in hand we fell asleep.

It was a fun night. My camera was full with pictures of that night. It was great and fun and tiring. The next morning wasn't very fun.

We all stumbled the stairs and into the kitchen where we all sat down at the counter. "Food?" Sharpay mumbled.

"No!" we all groaned out. We were all in our Halloween costumes.

I smiled and looked at everyone. These were the times I wanted to remember when I grew up. I looked at the clock and jumped up. "Holy shit!" I yelled running out into the living room where I dumped my bag and shoes and hat.

"What's wrong?" Kelsi asked me as they ran after me.

"I have a doctor's appointment in like an hour!" I yelled running out the door and to my car. I threw everything into the passengers seat not even bothering to put my shoes on. I started the car and waved good-bye.

In exactly an hour I had gotten home showered and threw on a pair of sweat pants and tank top and sweater and went to the doctor's.

"You're here on time." MY doctor Ally Dessen said to me. I smiled. She always knew I was late.

"Yeah." I said stifling a yawn.

"Ok so your mom asked me to do cancer tests on you." She said as I sat down in a chair in her office.

"How many?" I asked. I didn't want to know. There were a lot of cancers out of there.

"Well we are just doing the basics. So lung cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer, etc. don't worry. We're only doing like ten." She laughed standing up. I stood up leaving my bag there not really wanting to bring it everywhere I went today.

I went through X-rays, CT scans, full body scans. All I can say is my mom must really love me if she was spending so much money to see if I had cancer when I didn't. I mean I would know and see the symptoms. I've researched them when Grandma died. My mom was just over reacting. I said my good-bye to Ally when the testing was done. She said she would have the results in tomorrow.

I fell asleep when I got home. I woke up the next morning feeling sick as hell. My mom said I caught what they had caught. Lucky for them they were all better. I waved my arm at her to leave me alone so I could sleep it off. I could still hear her laughing ringing in my ears. I missed school. I was happy, but I wasn't very happy when my phone started ringing. I picked it up and sat up in bed holding my aching head. "Hello?" I said into the phone. Agh my voice sounded like a dieing person.

"Hey, Gabriella its Dr. Dessen." She said into the phone. She sounded very busy.

"Oh, hey what's up?" I asked her. I just wanted to hear that everything was negative so I could go back to sleep and wait no I actually wanted to go downstairs drown a bottle of that cherry medicine downstairs and go back to sleep. Where's my finding Nemo DVD?

"Gabriella, I need you to come in." she said to me.

"What? Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Gabriella, I'm very sorry, but can you come in today?" she asked me.

"I can be there in an hour." I said. She told me she would see me soon. I got up slowly and went to go shower, but when I was fully undressed I looked at my body. How could I have cancer? I shook my head. I didn't know that yet. I showered and got dressed in sweats and t-shirt. I was sick so I was allowed to look shitty. I also took like three spoons of that cherry medicine. It tasted good.

I was seated in Ally's office while I waited for her to come back from a patient's room. I started to tap my feet against the floor and drummed my fingers on my knee. This is not fun. "Sorry about that." She said coming in and sitting down. "How are you feeling?"

"I caught a cold my family had so pretty tired." I laughed a little. She nodded her head and opened up to what seemed like my file. She just stared at it and looked up at me.

"One of your tests came back positive. Now I'm not very good with this stuff so I'll be sending you to a different doctor. An oncologists because they deal with these things. Now He's a good friend of mine. His name is Dr. James Wilson…"

House…wait no Gabi this is important, listen.

"Wait what kind of…thing do I have?" I asked her. I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Breast Cancer…" she said trailing off.

**A/N ok this has to be like the most suck-ish chapter I have ever written. It was boring and I am really sorry for that in the next few chapters it will be interesting I promise. And for that I'm only making it 7 reviews to update. **

I'm really sorry this chapter was crap I promise it will be better…ok I'm tired. Lol and I have to go and at least ifnsh one book report out of four…and im not even reading these books so yeah. Im reading Rebecca, Night, LAdis of Miss…yeah lola nd then im reading Nectar in a Sieve…fun

Night


	10. Chapter 10

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 9

November

Gabriella's POV

Breast Cancer is I think the most number one killing cancer for women…I think. I mean I researched this stuff when grandma died. I'm pretty sure it was, but how could I have breast cancer? I would have seen the symptoms the lumps. My breast were tender, but it was a PMSing thing…wasn't it? Oh god mom and dad, how was I suppose to tell them? Dr. Dessen left the room to bring Dr. Wilson in here. House…I'm an idiot I'm here thinking of a TV show when this is really happening! I was going to die. What stage am I in? Chemo therapy was that used after the surgery. The medicine doesn't that make you feel weak? My senior year was already busy without the stress of this, but now it just dumped a whole lot of stress on me.

The door opened and I wiped the tears from my cheeks. I didn't bother to stand up and shake Dr. Wilson's hand. He took the seat next to me as Dr. Dessen took her seat at her desk. I looked at him he didn't look like Dr. Wilson in House. "Hello Gabriella my name is Dr. James Wilson." He said. I nodded my head. My mouth had gone dry since those two words left Dr. Dessen's mouth. This wasn't good for my head ache anymore.

"Well from what I can tell from your tests you're in Stage two B." he said to me. His voice sounded sincere.

"Is that bad?" I asked him. My voice sounded worse than before.

He looked down at his hands then back into my eyes. "The tumor in your breast is exactly five Centimeters. I'll have to get more tests done to see if it ahs spread to the axillary lymph nodes. Other than that you will have to under go surgery to get the tumor out. After that with chemo therapy and medication. Hopefully the tumor won't come back. You'll have monthly visits after the surgery. I'll only keep you for chemo therapy twice a week and for just two months."

I nodded my head. I'm pretty sure more tears escaped my eyes, but I didn't care. I too busy biting my lip to not let any sobs escape from me. "When will the surgery be?" I asked him.

"Well we're going to wait awhile so I can get a better look at it. Will you be able to come here tomorrow?" he asked.

I could just ask Jake to take my shift. "Yeah."

He told me to be here at three. Just an hour after school was let out. The three of us stood up. "Um, I hope the both of you understand that I'm a legal adult and I don't want of this getting back to my mother or father." I said to them. They didn't need to worry about this. It was just a small detail in my life. The two doctors exchanged looks, but I knew they couldn't tell my parents. It was part of the whole doctor confidential with the patient thing. I could pay for all of this my grandma left me at least two million. In her whole life she just put every penny away in the bank for me. Plus my dad's money was given to her when he died. And I would be getting my Aunts will any day now.

I could deal with this. I said to myself as I walked into the hospital parking lot after setting up my appointment with the doctor. I sat in the car for two minutes before turning it on. I pulled out of the parking lot and started my way home.

I turned the radio on and heard David Archuleta's new song "Crush" come on the air. I have to admit he was pretty good. I stomped my foot slowly on the brake when a red light came. The car slowed down and I just let out a sigh and looked in the review mirror. I looked like someone died. Good thing my mom knew I was sick other wise she would have never believed me that I was ok. Ten minutes later I pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. I got out of the car and went inside home.

"Gabi! Where were you? I got home and you weren't here." My mom said running over to hug me. She squeezed me tight and a little too tight because I felt my eyes tear when my right breast was being squished. It hurt and I could finally tell it wasn't the usual PMSing tenderness that it would usually be.

"Sorry just Dr. Dessen called me and she wanted me to come in." I said as she pulled away from me.

Her face grew worried. "Mom I'm perfectly fine. No cancer. She just wanted me to come back in because I was over-due for my physical." I lied.

"Oh ok. Good." Her face grew back into a smile I loved. A smile that Jim had put on her face all the time.

"I'm going to go to bed." I said.

"Ok, but all your friends called worried. I think you should call them back to let them know you're just sick. Troy was the worse. He thought some bad happened to you. That boy is really in love with you." She said smiling at me.

I smiled and went upstairs dialing Troy's number. _"Hello?" _ His voice sounded worried.

"Hey Troy it's me." I said closing my bedroom door and locking it. I didn't feel like talking, but I had to let them know I was ok.

"_Oh Gabi I thought you were hit by a car or something!" _he said.

"No, no I'm just sick. I caught what the family had." I said to him. "How was school?"

We talked for ten minutes. I told him I was very tired and that I would see him tomorrow and that I loved him. I also asked him to tell the gang that I was fine. I placed my phone on my table after texting Jake asking if he could take over my shift tomorrow. He said sure. I go up form my bed and went into my bathroom to look into the mirror. I took my shirt and bra off and looked at my right breast. This was really happening. I reached up to touch it lightly. I lifted my arm up and just touched it to see or feel any bump that I missed.

I would have seen the bump or felt it when I was showering or getting dressed…did Troy feel it that night? I went to the side of my breast and that's when I felt the tiniest thing. Five centimeters…the tumor was five centimeters. I tore my hand away form my breast and just threw my shirt back on leaving my bra on the floor. I didn't feel like feeling the pain tonight.

It was Friday. The last day of the school week. I was happy on the outside in the inside I was dead. I went to Dr. Wilson's office like I sad I would on Tuesday. He did some more tests and then brought me back into his office. The surgery I was having was called is Lumpectomy. It is surgery in which only the tumor and some surrounding tissue is removed. Instead of Chemo therapy after the surgery I'll be doing radiation therapy. He gave me a couple of perscriptions to take. I didn't ask what they were for. All he told me was that I take two every day before breakfast. He also said after the surgery the medication would get stronger so the tunor wouldn't come back.

Dr. Wilson or Dr. Dessen didn't tell my parents. I told them I would tell them. My Aunt left me everything inculding her one year old dog Nell. She was cute and got along with Molly. I sold her house because I could bare to even look at it. Too many memories. The funeral was yesterday. In her will she said she wanted to be cermated and he ashes to be in three places, next to her mom, on the beach and in the woods. I did it. She didn't have many friends because she was always working. In her bank account there was at least over two hundered thousand that was for me. she never traveled. She had the money to do so, but she never did.

That money was put away with my Grandma's money. There money was going to be helping me pay for my surgery and raidiation therapy. I was still waiting for the right time to tell my parents. My plan was to wait after the surgery to see if they got it all. I just didn't want them to start worrying over nothing.

The worse part is I didn't even tell my friends. I knew they were worried because kept seeing me wince when ever I thought of the cancer that I had inside of me. I went to work. Everythiung was fine. Jake told me his stories. I laughed. We went for icecream where he talked to his boy friend.

My surgery was the day right after thanksgiving we ahd that week off due to the holiday. I told my parents that I was going to go to California to visit Ana my cousin from my moms side. Ana of course knew I wans't going to go over there, but she was happy to cover for me. but I had to promise her I would visit her soon. I told my friends the same thing, but all in all I was going ot be here right in Alberqueque. I would be staying in the hospital for preperation for a day then I would spend my second day in surgery then three days in recovery and my first radiation therpay. I woul have therpay session at least twice a week for two months. Then we will check again to see if its all gone.

I was ok…I was perfectly fine.

_A/N ok so I know I didn't get 7 reviews, but I really wanted to post this chapter so yeah. But now I have to get at least 12 reviews:) thank you guys!_

_TWILIGHT GOT MOVED UP!! But then ahrry got moved down:(_


	11. AN2

Dear Readers,

Dear Readers,

I know its been more than two weeks, but I still ahven't gotten my 12 reviews so…But I'm going to lower it if I get four more reviews for the LAST chapt NOT this chapter I will post the new chapter. And I haven't posted the new chapter because of school. I thought junior year was suppose to be fun and hard working and boy when they said hard working it means hard working! Three days into the year we have been having tests everyday since Wednesday of September 10th. And I have been too busy with everyday and the sweet sixteens…yay. Lol.

WELL I hope everyone's school year is going well so far!!

LIsa


	12. Chapter 12

Loosing it

Loosing it

Chapter 10

November

Gabriella's POV

"I swear if I hear her stupid fake annoying voice I will scream louder than before!" Sharpay said to me as we left our English class. Today was Day eight so our classes were switched up, why they did it I have no idea, but all I knew is I had one more class and that was Health. Sharpay was screaming over a freshman stalker that had currently found her way to Sharpay. She clung to Sharpay like it was her life. She even introduced herself to us and joined our lunch table. She was way worse than Sharpay and never stopped talking. Even the word no made her start a new topic. Once Chad had came in saying that people under 18 couldn't buy cigarette's and saying it was wrong. Taylor started yelling at him for even trying to buy them and then Stalker freshman (We all call her that because we can't remember her name) started talking on she could buy them because…well I actually have no idea because I usually tuned her out.

"Well why don't you just tell her piss off." Chad said coming up beside us. He always knew what people were talking about even when he wasn't there which was weird.

"Because I'll feel mean!" Sharpay said.

"Wait, but you had no problem being mean to us." He questioned.

I looked at Sharpay who was thinking about it. "I don't know." She shrugged and walked off as Chad walked the other way. I shook my head as I walked into my health class. I looked at the teacher who was writing today's lesson on the board. Cancer.

I sat down and looked at my hands. It was just two days before my surgery and I haven't even thought of it. Not even once in my dreams. The tenderness in my right breast went away and that was the only good thing. I just…I wish I could tell someone, but I would feel as if I'm troubling them and I didn't want to do that because I would feel like a complete idiot for even bothering them when the surgery could go well and I won't have to worry about this every again.

It was just the thought of even going through this progress at age eighteen. Eighteen. That's all I was. If I died at this age I would probably…I just there were so many things I want to do before I die. I want to go see the Grand Canyon. Maybe even stand on the edge of the rocks. I wanted to become…a doctor or a writer or a lawyer. I wanted to become something and most important I wanted to get married and have kids.

I felt someone hit me and I looked up to see Robert a classmate hit me in the head. The teacher was looking at me. "Gabriella can you please repeat what I just said."

"You said…I'm sorry I wasn't listening." I said looking back at my unopened notebook.

"I could tell. I said breast cancer is the number one cancer that kills women." She said.

My throat closed up and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. I grabbed my notebook and bag and not even bothering to raise my hand I just ran out of the class room and into the empty hallways. My jeans were slipping off my waist and I tried pulling them up as I was running, but I just fell with my notebook sliding against the other wall. I let out a quiet sob.

I sat up against the wall trying to take in even breaths. I'm tired and that's all I could think of as the bell rang. I stood up and grabbed my bag and book and walked to my locker. Chad came to his and started talking about not liking the fact that it was only Thursday. I said diddo.

"Hey you ok?" he asked me.

"Yeah I just failed a test in Health and got a little teary." I said looking back into my locker. I closed it with my bag full of the necessary tuff I needed for homework. "Can you tell Troy I'll talk to him alter. I have work and I was late yesterday." I said to Chad.

"Yeah sure. You sure you're ok?" he asked me. I nodded my head and walked away to my car. I put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on. I sat there for a couple of minutes. I could see Troy coming out of the school and Chad talking to him. Troy started looking around the parking lot and when he saw me in my car his face lit up and smiled. He said something to Chad and started walking towards my car. I drove out of my parking space and left the parking lot. I didn't want to talk today to anyone. I didn't have work today. I lied as usual.

No one was home when I got in. everyone was still at work and my twins were at Jim's work for a day. I went up to my room and dropped my book bag and bent down to look for my bag under my bed. I pulled it out and threw the stuff on my bed and locked my door and balcony doors and closing the curtains. I kicked my shoes off and sat down on my bed and took out a little bag and razor. I had purchased this little bag and razor about three weeks ago right after the day with Dr. Wilson and Dr. Dessen. I stared at it.

I've been doing this for the pass three weeks not evening touching them. I was just looking at them. I don't know if I was just testing myself or if I was just bored. I could tell my face had tear stains on my cheeks. I just put the stuff back in the bag and threw it under my bed. I pulled my jeans up again. I lost five pounds because of the medicine it wasn't that bad it was just the fact that when I sat down or was running was when my pants fell down.

I laid no my bed and just thought about tomorrow. It was Friday and the day I was admitting myself to the hospital for my surgery on Saturday. I was hoping everything went as planned. I was going straight to the airport after school with my bags to see my cousin for a week…at lease that was the story.

I just…wanted someone to be there with me…but not I was being just as stubborn as my father was. My mom always told me I very stubborn just like my father…

I sat up my bags were packed I didn't want to do my homework. I looked at my clock. Ten at night and no one was home when I heard a knock on my balcony doors. I got up and looked through the curtain. It was Troy. I smiled and opened them. "Hey."

"Hey you ok? I was walking towards your car when you took off didn't you see me?" he asked me when I closed the doors. He set himself on my bed and I laid down on my bed.

"NO sorry. I was on the phone."

"Oh, well how was work?" he asked me.

"It was…fun I guess." I said looking at him.

I could tell he wanted to talk to me about something. His eyes said it all. "So what are you doing this weekend?" he kept on asking me this question everyday. I don't think he trusted me to be at my cousins or it was he didn't believe me that I was going to her house.

"Troy we've been over this I'm going to my cousin's place for the week." I said sitting up in my bed.

"But why now? You never even mentioned her to me." he said.

"Because maybe I don't need to tell you every detail of my life!" I yelled.

"Gabi-."

"It's Gabriella." I said to him. My brown eyes stared into his shocked blue eyes.

"Sorry…it's just you've been acting weird." He said quietly.

"And so what if I'm acting weird?" I asked. I was letting my nerves catch up on me.

"Gabriella don't take it personally, but are you on drugs again? Yours eyes are glassy." He said.

My blood was boiling. I stood up. "Maybe I'm moody because I'm pregnant and maybe my eyes are glassy because I've been crying and don't you dare even accuse me of doing drugs. I have been clean for a year. Now get out of my house." I said opening my balcony doors.

"Your pregnant?" he asked me.

"Leave." I said looking at the ground. I wasn't pregnant. I just needed him off my case. I would never become pregnant because I knew no one would give me the chance of having a kid. Troy walked pass me and I closed the door locking it.

I went to bed crying. I hated myself and I hated myself and did I mention I hated myself? Well I really did hate myself.

I couldn't wait for this stupid cancer to be removed and I could just pretend nothing has ever happened everyday except for my chemo therapy days.

I wanted to be normal, but no. I strived to be normal, but no I couldn't be normal.

So fart I was pissed going to sleep Troy thinks I'm pregnant and I'm not. I'm screwed.

**A/N ok so I've re-read this chapter three times hoping that it wasn't crap or anything. If it is sorry I've been busy thinking of school. So far school sucks anyone else? **

**I recently discovered my mom has cancer and she hasn't told anyone but my sister (22) and my dad. I found out by checking her medications and listening to my sisters phone calls when I "was sleeping" she hasn't told us "kids" anything yet and it's been pretty hard and to that note I'm going to leave it there because I usually start crying at this subject. **

**MEDICINE**

**I just wanted to remind everyone here that I'm only sixteen and do not have medicinal degree so if things are wrong I'm sorry I'm doing my best here on the medicine stuff crap. **

**Thank you all reviewin! I want at LEAST seven to ten reviews please:)**

**Oh and I'm teaching CCd so my schedule is pretty busy:) one note third graders are evil!!**


	13. AN3

Dear Readers,

I know what you're saying she updated! Og crap its just one of those stupid author's note saying their sorry. And I am sorry. This school year is not going as planned. I went to the eye doctor turns out I have a swelling on my eyes or something and if its still there in four weeks im most likely going to have a head scan and crap and my dog has cancer so that's not fun and its junior year and Shakespeare has taken over my life, literally. My sister says I have been mumbling Macbeth in my sleep.

That and I have been planning my life around homework teaching working and trying to squeeze my friends. In. now I have three stories I need to work on. What a Drag, Loosing it, and Truth which I am re-writing. Now you guys have to have just a little patience with me since my life is busy and i'm pretty sure everyone's is too.

Ok im going to get typing to which I hope will be good "comeback" chapters

Did anyone hear Britney's new CD? LOVE IT

Anyone see twilight? I did four times and I LOVE it lmao

Anyone see HSM3? It was so good my four friends (one hated it and the other was complaining Zac was too gay) well my friend and I were crying and were hugging each other like we don't want to finish high school

Lisa


	14. Chapter 14

Loosing it

Chapter 11

Gabriella's POV

I cried myself to sleep last night and that caused me to look like hell. My mom let me skip school today which was good because I don't think I could face anyone today. I don't think I could face my mom and dad tomorrow morning. I stayed home from school today, I played the sick card again. It was Thanksgiving and my mom was downstairs trying to cook the turkey while Dad and the twins were in the living room playing. Well more like Dad watching the football and the kids just sleeping. They had life easy didn't they?

When I wasn't asleep last night I thought of what I said to Troy. I told him I was pregnant. Why did I have to have such a bad temper? I was laying in my bed when my phone started beeping by two pm. I knew it was my friends. Troy probably told the great news. The news that wasn't true.

I could feel the tears starting to burn in my eyes. I couldn't do this alone. I could tell someone about the cancer and worry them or I could just keep it to myself to keep everyone happy…the second choice sounded right, but I just…the lying seemed like it was my second nature again and I don't want that. I want to be the new Gabriella. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I re-programmed myself to a new person that could please everyone around her…

I programmed myself for everyone else. Did I program myself for Harvard? My phone beeped again. I groaned and sat up in my bed and touched the screen. Five new Messages. I pressed the view now later choice and laid it back down. My bedroom door opened.

"Gabi, dinner is almost ready Taylor called…" My mom said trailing off.

"Can you tell them that I'm just sleeping please." My voice sounded cracked as I spke for the first time today.

"Have you been crying?" my mom asked me. I smiled and closed my eyes and turned to face her.

"Just my head ache and my cramps not a good combo." I said to her.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at me. "Wait till you get older honey your old age gets worse." She closed my door and walked downstairs laughing.

"I'm going to be able to grow old." I whispered to myself. I must have fallen asleep again because my mom shook me., she smiled at me and told me dinner was ready in ten. I got up and took a shower and went downstairs just in time. We said our prayers and then we started to eat. My mom and Dad were now feeding the twins in between their bites of food. I quietly slipped pieces of my food to Nell and Molly when they weren't looking. I wasn't that hungry tonight and I just wanted to go to sleep. I got up from the table and I heard Jim asking my mom if I was ok. She said I was under the weather with women stuff and he immediately went to the topic of work.

As I was going upstairs the door bell rang and I went to answer it, but I wish I had let my mom answer it instead. Troy.

"Troy…hi." He looked dead if that was possible. His blue eyes were a dark ring of gray.

"Gabriella, ummm can I come in?" he asked me I could see a little sparkle.

"No we're eating dinner and I have to get back what's wrong?" the sparkle lets his eyes.

"Um I just… Gabriella if you're worried about me not being there for the baby I'll be there for our child. Really will. I'll, I'll save up and buy a house for us we can get married I even went through the attic in my house and found my old crib it's yellow and it's in prefect condition. I told my parents and they will help us with everything…" he was going on and on and I couldn't help, but cry he would stay with me if we were going to have a baby…I lied to him and I… I can't do this. I was going to start to have a panic attack if I didn't stop him.

"Troy."

"Annd we can…-"

"TROY"

He stopped talking and looked at me with hopeful eyes.

"I…um the baby…I already took care of it. I'm sorry you wasted your time." He looked like he was going to cry.

"Look I'm sorry Troy, but can you not call me for the rest of the vacation or come here please. Just do me that. I'll…I'll see you later." He just walked away and I could feel my heart shatter, but I did that. I'm the one who broke him and me. I shook my head and closed the door. I ran upstairs and locked my room. I went under my bed and took the razor and bag out from under there. I set them on top of my bed and looked at them I was eager to just get high and slit my wrists.

Instead I took the bag and razor and threw them under my bed. I hate myself. I paced my room. I broke him…I broke me. I broke my new programmed self. I fell to the floor and cried myself to sleep there.

The next morning I took a shower and smiled to my parents as I put my bag full of clothes in the back of the cab that I was taking to the airport. I got in the cab and gave him the address of the Hospital. He gave me a questioning look. "I said the Hospital, now please." He turned around in his seat and started driving. Thank God I just wanted to get this over with. When I walked inside the hospital I felt my nerves die down and I felt calm as I checked myself and was brought to my room.

It wasn't a shared room and I was happy. I slipped into my gown before the nurse came in to check my vitals and have me sign some forms and what not. Saturdays are one of the best days of the week, but I now hate them. Dr. Wilson walked into my room three hours after I checked in and I smiled.

"Well hello Gabriella. How are you doing today?"

"I'm good."

"Nervous?"

"No the hospital makes me surprisingly nervous free." I said to him.

"Really normally people come in here and are freaked out even doctors. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Umm, I'm not entirely sure…" he nodded his head as he read over my information

"Ok so the surgery should last an hour and half, that's what we're planning for and on Monday you're going to have your first radiation therapy. A nurse will be in here in five minutes to help you get ready."

He left the room and I sat there in m bed. When I was in the OR I had a mask placed over my mouth and nose. I counted down from ten inhaling deeply. Before five I fell into a deep sleep. Everything was so colorful and alive in my dreams. Troy and I looked so happy as memories flashed through my head as if I our life was put into a movie and I was watching it on HD…his eyes were the first things I would always notice about him when I saw him, but then the movie seemed to turn into the conversation in my room.

"_Are you accusing me of doing drugs?"_

I watched myself as I yelled at him.

"…_maybe because I'm pregnant…"_

I shot up in my bed, but once I got in my surroundings I realized I wasn't home and I wasn't in Florida either I was in the hospital and that's when I felt a faint pain in my right breast. I lifted my hand and grazed it softly. I couldn't feel the pain, but I knew I would feel it sooner when the nurse would lower my morphine down. I laid back down in the bed and looked at the window. The sun was rising it was Sunday…I think. I felt like a week passed in my dreams…nightmares what ever you want to call them.

"Well look who's up." I looked at the door and saw Justin, but when I blinked I saw Dr. Wilson standing there smiling at me. I smiled back.

"You have been out since Saturday and it is now Monday." He said sitting down next to my bed.

"Wow…how did my surgery go?" I asked him. He smiled at me.

I couldn't tell if that was a sad smile or a good smile. "It went well Gabriella. It's so good we got the whole thing out and it wasn't five centimeters it was only four. We got it out and your radiation will be twice a week for one month instead of two months. That's how good it was." He said to me. I smiled and let out a breath.

"Are you ok?'

"Yeah I'm fine…I just need to…I'm tired." I said smiling at him. "What time is it?"

"Well it is 7 AM." He said looking at his watch.

"Ok thank you."

"Well at three you will have your first round of radiation." He said and left the room. I grabbed my cell phone from my bag that was under my bed and dialed my house.

"Hello?" My mom said into the phone.

"Mom it's me Gabriella. I'm sorry I didn't call last night."

"Oh don't worry dear I called your cousin she said you went to sleep when you got there. Is it nice there?"

"Yeah the weather is amazing we're going down to the beach in five minutes." I said lying down in my hospital bed.

"Ok honey call me whenever have fun."

"Love you."

"Love you too." I ended the call and looked over the text messages that piled over the pass few days. Sixteen messages from Jake. Ten from Kelsi, Taylor, nine from Chad and Ryan…the list went on. I didn't have any test messages from Troy after Friday night.

I ruined my life just by one little secret

I broke two hearts

I lost someone

And I think I lost my friends

Just because I was working too hard

**A/N OK five pages people. I hope you all like it. I had a very busy day. I went to the city and got my new cell phone. I paid for it and when you pay for something with money you earned you treat that item with a lot more care. I got the LG Voyger. Very very very hppy haha. **

**Ok so I hope you guys like this chapter:) took me a while to put some emotion into it. I hope you guys think there is emotion in it and that there was enough of it. Now I'm going to go get ready for church******

**I'm hoping my updating will become freguent, but then again with school and my grades trying to raise them into first honors that's going to be hard and SATs are in may…I want to go stay at Nether land…with Peter Pan. **

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS:)**

**Lisa **

**xoxox**


	15. Chapter 15

Loosing It

Chapter 12

Gabriella's POV

I had gone through my first round of radiation…but Dr. Wilson said he would want to change it to Chemotherapy. I don't know why he wants to stick with this for a month and if it doesn't work then Chemo. I don't know. I got up too fast after the hour was done and I was dizzy. Luckily the nurse caught me and smiled. She said this happened all the time to patients.

That made me smile a little. I wasn't the first one to do this. I was sitting in my bed trying to figure things out. Would I loose my hair? How would I get through school and work if this is going to make me feel weak. I needed to try and tell someone…maybe I could tell Taylor she did after all want to become a doctor…no she would probably make it all…medical.

Maybe I could just keep it a secret for just a little bit longer. I didn't want to tell someone and have them treat me like a child reminding me when my appointment were and that I had to get rest and that I had to eat. I didn't want this on my family's mind when they could be thinking of other things like shopping, school, and siblings. I didn't want to be the burden when I didn't feel well and my friends and family changing their mind to do something else so I could join in on the fun.

I didn't' want to stop me from doing my dream…my dream. I scoffed. I didn't know my dream anymore. I didn't want to become a doctor or a lawyer. They were too formal and always had the bad news no one wanted to heart, but always got when they least expected it.

I sighed and turned over on my bed. I closed my eyes and started to drift off into a peaceful sleep. It was the only thing that helped me these days.

By the end of the week I was tired emotionally and physically. I looked paler and tired. My hair was in a messy bun and I was dressed in sweats. Dr. Wilson said I was looking good, but he still wanted me on heavy medication. So I'm on the medication which I'll be hiding in my room somewhere, I'll have to find a place. My right breast hurt more then usual so he gave me some pain killers with my medication. I walked out of the hospital slowly and to my awaiting cab. I got in and before I knew it I was home.

I got out of the cab and paid him. And walked to the front door with my book bag. I rung the door bell, but no one answered and I groaned. I dug through my bag and got my keys. I finally found my keys with the purple flip-flop on my keychain. I smiled. Sharpay thought that my favorite color was purple and that I had to have it. She was right though my favorite color is purple. I inserted the fourth key on the keychain that was next to my car's key into the front door. I opened the door and walked in and closed the door with my foot. I smiled and looked around to make myself look more alive.

In truth I just wanted to curl up in my bed under all the blankets. I walked farther into the house dropping my bag at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hello…Mom…Ji-Dad?" I stopped myself. I nearly said Jim. Oh my God. I have to think my family, my prefect family with friends. I walked into the living room frowning when no one answered me. I told them I was getting a ride home right?

"SURPRISE!!" everyone in the room yelled. My friends and family were there smiling at me like idiots. Troy was there. He was smiling but not like he used to. I smiled, but soon the tears swelled up in my eyes.

My scar was starting to hurt the way my bra was putting pressure on it and I was starting to get dizzy because I was suppose to eat with the medication and I didn't eat this morning. Before I could do anything I ran to the bathroom by the kitchen and emptied my already empty stomach. I was heaving by the time some one came into the room and held my hair back.

I could feel the warm tears coming down. I was a mess. "I need Troy where's Troy?" I cried his name over and over and he was there. He was the one holding my hair back for me. He was the one rocking me back and forth. He was my rock that I couldn't give away.

"There wasn't a baby. I swear to God there wasn't a baby I was just mad. Please forgive me. I'm a horrible person please just forgive me Troy. Forgive me." I cried over and over. He kept whispering "It's ok." Into my ear and I could feel his own tears making there way onto my neck. Those were the words that I fell asleep to. They were the words that I mostly fell asleep to in my life, but nothing ever seemed to be ok…never.

I woke up in my room still in the same outfit that I had on before. Good they didn't see my scar. I could feel someone else in the bed with me. I sat up and looked to see Troy staring at me. He gave me a small smile. "Hello Sleeping beauty." He said looking at me.

"How can you talk to me?" I asked him quietly. He sat up and stared at his hands and then he looked at me. His blue eyes sparkling when he looked at me. he took a breath and answered me.

"Because I love you."

"But I hurt you. I lied to you. I…Troy I can't even look at myself. How can you forgive me so easily?"

He looked at me with his eyes. He looked like he held the world in them. "Because I thought about your behavior over the pass week when you were gone. I'm not accusing you of anything, but if you do think about doing anything I'm here and I always want to be here. When you told me you were pregnant I was happy, but then when you told me you took care of it. Gabriella I felt…destroyed I was mad at you at first, but then I was thinking about it. You wouldn't do that. So I came to conclusion you just wanted me off of your back. You're stressed about school and life. You had a break down and I understand that. I can never stay mad at you." He said looking at me smiling.

"Oh god, I'm so stupid." I got off of my bed, "I…how did I get so lucky with you? I mean I can tell you anything and you won't judge me…"

The room was silent. This was prefect I could tell him right now, right here…

I turned around and looked at him. I then eyed my bag that was at the bottom of my bed. I looked back at him and then my bag. Do I tell him or do I not? I looked at Troy he looked confused, but his eyes…they made me want to tell him everything.

"Um…I have something to tell you…" I started out, ut as soon as I started my door burst open and in came my friends. They were chattering all at once and Sharpay hit chad's head. I smiled, but head hurt.

"Oh my God, you scared the living daylights out of me…well us, but me especially." Ryan said looking at me.

"Thanks Ryan. I just. I haven't been feeling well everything is catching up on me you know." I said hugging him. His cologne…was mint. Ryan did seem like the mint kind of guy. I pulled away.

"Gabi!!!" I missed you. We have to go shopping for prom. I know you have your dress, but Tay and I are stuck." Sharpay said hugging me.

"Well I already have my dress picked out I just need your approval. I think it's too revealing…so I don't know." Taylor said.

"Hey I don't approve of anything revealing the only eyes that are allowed on my girl on prom is me!" Chad yelled.

"Who said I was your girl Chad?" Taylor asked raising her eyebrow at him. He crowded back over to my bookshelf and mumbled, 'I love you'.

No…they were too happy. They were all too happy. I couldn't ruin their moment right now. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe tomorrow will be one of the worst days and I can tell them then. I looked at Troy who was smiling at me. He was still lying in my bed.

Hey I'm going to go changed you guys go downstairs. I pushed everyone out and looked at Troy. "I said everyone out mister Bolton." I looked at Troy he stood up and made a pout face.

"I'm your boyfriend can't I stay?" he whined.

"I want to shower and change." I said as he wrapped his warm arms around me.

"I've seen you naked it doesn't matter." He mumbled kissing my lips and down my neck. I leaned against the door as his body pressed against mine.

"Troy…as much as I love this right now I need to shower I smell." Truth was I did smell and my scar was burning. I needed to take my medication.

"I'll help wash you…" he said still sucking on my neck.

I closed my eyes and just let my imagination get the best of me when Troy would be washing me. I opened my eyes as his hand started to snake up the back of my shirt.

"NO!" I yelled. Troy immediately pulled back and looked at me worried.

"Hey I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

I'm sorry. Sorry. Look I'll be down in fifteen minutes." I kissed him on the cheek and grabbed my bag while walking into the bathroom I had. I closed the door and turned the shower on. I looked at myself in the mirror while opening the bottle and getting my pills out. I looked at the different colors of my medicine and swallowed it while filing a cup with water. I swallowed the water and placed the cup on the counter and stripping myself of my cloths. I stepped under the warm water and relaxed.

Tomorrow I hope was the day I told them…

**A/N Ok…so things aren't going as planned for me. I have a non-cancerous tumor in my brain. I don't really get the concept of it yet mostly because I'm tuning the doctors out and letting my mom answer all the questions. All I know is I'm on medication and I don't like it one bit at all! So I'm kind of mixing my emotions in the story with Gabriella's because only my family knows none of my friends know about it. I mean its non-cancerous, but I'm seeing three more doctors. Why? I have no idea.**

**So yha that's my life=) **

**I hope every one had fun New Year's and for those of you who remembered theirs thank goodness because I only have pictures…it's a funny story for another time.**

**Thank you all who are reviewing I know it's only four, but I'm getting a lot of hits for a chapter so I'm going to try and and set something. **

**I WILL NOT UPDATE UNTIL I HAVE 7 or 6 reviews=) thank you=)**

**night**


	16. Chapter 16

Loosing It

Chapter 13

Gabriella's POV

My friends and I went downstairs into the living room where my mom rushed and gave me a hug. "Are you ok?" she asked me when she pulled away from me.

"Mom I'm fine. I had sushi last night withaAnna-kins. It didn't go well with our stomachs." I smiled. She nodded her head and I went to hug my…Dad. Dad, why was it so hard saying that word.

"Ok, so we have turkey, ham, cheese and more. I brought the food and made the sandwiches because well…I was bored at home." Zeke stating as I walked into the kitchen I smiled and leaned against the door way of the kitchen. My friends and family were surrounding the island in the kitchen digging for the food Zeke had made. Chad had taken two sandwiches and Taylor rolled her eyes and told him to stop with the eating like a pig. Sharpay was helping Zeke cut up carrots. She smiled at him and the twins were in their baby chairs playing with their cut up pieces of banana.

I looked at my parents then. They were sitting at the windowsill seat talking and smiling. I felt the tingle of a smile coming upon my face. The corner of my mouth lifted and I smiled as Troy's arms wrapped around me. I could hear Kelsi and Ryan talking to my left.

"You are going to eat right?" Troy asked me.

"Of course I am. I can never up a turkey and lettuce sandwich with BBQ Honey chips. You know me." I smiled and headed towards the island. Zeke handed me my plate with my ships and sandwich.

"You know me too well." I laughed sitting down at the table and taking a bite out of my dinner.

"Gabi, the deli two blocks from here knows and has your order ready for you at Seven AM every school morning. They know you by name hell they even have your crap in a bag!" Chad yelled.

"It's not my fault. I just like my lettuce and turkey and chips." I frowned and looked at my food. It was very good.

"Whatever Gabi, it's like your routine in the morning…" Ryan said.

"HEY! I have not been there since October!" I said. It was true school has been so hectic.

"Yes, but I always get you your food because I get my lunch too." Taylor said. I nodded my head knowing it was true.

Well I ate my sandwich and chips and in twenty minutes I was staring at an empty plate. I was starved before, but now I just don't think I could move. I was uncomfortable with my bra on, but I couldn't take it off then I would really be uncomfortable especially with my parents.

My friends stayed for two more hours the clock reaching eleven PM. They left and Troy kissed my head as he left. I closed the door and told my mom and dad that I was going to sleep. Tomorrow was my first day back at work and I was going to need a lot of rest. I locked my bathroom door and walked to the front of the mirror. I threw my shirt and bra onto the floor and looked at my scar on my chest…the scar wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. I knew it would be there forever. I shook my head and pulled my third drawer open and grabbed Troy's white shirt out and threw it on me and grabbing a pair of blue shorts and pulling them on after taking my shorts off.

I left my clothes on the ground knowing I would clean it up later. I crawled under the sheets of my bed and fell asleep instantly.

_I was walking downstairs into the living room where my friends a family were. I had called them once I got home from work because I needed to tell them. I needed to finally tell them because after today I couldn't do this alone. _

_I couldn't have these breakdowns every three hours of the day. I couldn't. _

_They were all talking and laughing. I was going to turn around and march myself upstairs, but I had to do this. _

"_Um…so I have some news…" I said trailing off. They all looked at me smiling. They probably thought I was telling them I finished my applications. _

"_Remember that doctor's visit I had? Well…I lied." My voice was cracking. I looked at my mom and family and friends. They looked confused. "I have cancer…well breast cancer. When I went to Florida to visit Ann I was lying. I was at the hospital having the surgery. It's gone…they think it is, but I'm going for treatment…" _

_There I told them, but they weren't responding. There was a moment of silence and they laughed. They laughed. "Yeah right Gabi; what did you really want to tell us?" Chad said laughing. _

_My eyes bugged out. "Guys I'm serious I have the scar!" I lifted the shirt up and pointed to a scar that should be there disappearing into my bra. It's not there…my scar where was it. "I'm telling the truth I swear!" I yelled. The tears started coming out of my eyes. "No, no guys stop laughing I'm telling the truth you have to believe me!" they were still laughing. _

"_Maybe she's on drugs again!" Jim laughed. _

"_I'm not I've been clean since last year!"_

"_Hey Troy you better watch out you can get STDs from her!" Ryan laughed. _

"_Yeah who cares I don't need her anymore I already got my fuck from her!" he said. I backed away to the stairs. This wasn't them. I ran upstairs and scream. I scream until I until I reached under the bed and got the razor and drug out. I swallowed six pills dry and brought the razor down to my wrist eighteen times for all those years I've been alive. I laid down on my carpet and giggled to myself. I could actually hear someone calling my name. Someone that cared…someone…somebody maybe a pencil can love me…_

_  
_My eyes shot open and I freaked out. I shook my head. They wouldn't do that, but the release when I took those drugs and cut myself in the dream felt good…I thought for a moment of my secret stash under my bed. "NO." I whispered to myself. I got out of bed and rushed to the shower. I had to get ready for work.

An hour later I was in the restaurant and taking my first table of the day orders. I had taken my pills, but I ate my dinner that Joe made me this morning. I just asked for eggs and he graciously thought I should eat more which is true so he made me four stacks of chocolate chip pancakes. My favorite I always order those day or night. I smiled and ate them until my tables order was ready. I took them their food and took two more orders. I filled them in and finished my last pancake. I thanked Joe and went to work. My bra wasn't bothering me due to my one pill of pain killer I took. I loved those things.

It was one in the evening when I had to take my second dose of the day. It was also my lunch break. I promised Sharpay I would go and meet her at the ice cream shop where we were going to eat ice cream. That's what we were going to have for lunch. I clocked out for my one hours break. When I got in the car I took my zip-lock bag out and took my pills shoving them down my throat. I took my bottle of water out and swallowed them. I closed the bottle and pulled out of the parking lot and speed down to get to the ice cream parlor. I saw Sharpay waiting outside with a sweater on her. Now it never snowed here but it got cold. **I don't know if this is true I'm just too lazy to research **

I got out after parking my car, but when I did I felt a wave of dizziness. I knew I had to eat. This was the medicine's way of telling me to eat. Damn side affects.

"Hey Chickadee!" Sharpay called me as we hugged.

"Hey Vanilla." Those were our nicknames we called eachother.

"Ok so I'm ready for some cookie n' cream ice cream. You?"

"Me oh I'm ready for a LARGE chocolate sprinkle ice cream. "I laughed as we walked in. we placed our order and sat down with them. We ate making comments and I laughed.

"SO pray tell, what is the real reason you were throwing up last night? I mean I know about the whole fake pregnancy thing, but seriously your mom can NOT tell when you're lying to telling the truth." Sharpay said as she put a full spoon of cookie n' cream in her mouth. Her brown hazel eyes bore through me to tell the truth. I shrugged and took a bite of my ice cream.

"It's the truth Anna and I did have bad sushi." I still held my ground on that story.

She sighed and frowned. The lines on her forehead were in a swirl lines. That's the one thing I would remember about Sharpay when she sighed and frowned that meant she was disappointed and the swirl lines on her forehead showed it meant she wasn't backing down. Part of me wished that she would let it go, but the other half of me wanted to give her clues on what was wrong with me.

"Ok, you know I'm always here with Kelsi and Taylor if you can't tell Troy."

"I know, just give me time, k?" I asked looking at her. She smiled knowing I would tell her soon.

"So can you come tomorrow? We're going to get our dresses." She squealed.

"Umm, I can't I have to work." It was a lie, but I had a round on Monday's and Saturdays. Those were the days Dr. Wilson and I agreed on.

She nodded her head. I heard her say under her breath, "When she's ready." I looked at her as she ate her ice cream. I looked at mine and sat back in the chair looking at it. The white spoon stuck in it.

Sharpay knows…I think…

**A/N So…That's the chapter. I hope everyone liked it. I was confused on what I wanted to do on this chapter. I just wanted to thank all of you in your reviews. It's very sweet of you guys it really is. So I told my friends two days ago. **

**One of them went on about how they hated doctors and that well she actually just talked about herself and doctors, but one kept saying she was sorry. And one of my OLD friends from 8****th**** grade is starting to act like were BFFs how she found out I have no idea. **

**And then my best friend who I can always count on she started crying and was the only one who said I don't want to loose you. She was the only one who showed me actual emotion. The only one that said don't leave me and I don't want to loose you or anything. I think she's the one I can actually count on if I was in trouble. **

**So yes and I'm still going through more doctors. I can actually now say I want to be a nurse when I grow up. **

**Haha and I donated blood yay... my doctor said I could so I did on Thursday. My only problem is there's now a big bruise on my arm=( it hurts, but everyone donate blood!!! =)**

**7 or 8 reviews=) to update I love you guys**

**Thank you=)**

**Lisa**

**Xoxoxoxxxxooo)**


	17. Chapter 17

Loosing it

Chapter 14

November

Gabriella's POV

I've always hated Mondays just because it meant five days of school. It was stupid reason, but I now I have a reason to truly hate Mondays. My treatment today after school. I told my boss at the restaurant that I couldn't work Mondays and Saturdays anymore due to family. He nodded his head and smiled at me. The warm shower I had running over my body felt relaxing. It was relaxing to my aching muscles and my aching scar. I knew I spent too much time in the shower because my fingers were becoming raisins. I sighed and washed out the last bit of soap off of my body. I turned the knobs on the shower to off and went to grab my towel.

I dried myself off and got dried tying my damp hair up into a bun. My white pants made my legs look tan while my blue t-shirt made me look…blue. I pulled my flip-flops on and walked out over to my dresser. I took out all my medication and took out the necessary number of pills I had to take. I stuffed them in my mouth along with the water that I rushed to drink. I drained half of my water bottle and set it back down on my dresser. I took one look at myself in my mirror. I looked blank ike I had no feeling today. I scoffed as I walked out of my room after putting the bottles back in my drawer. I walked down the hall with my book bag and dropped it outside of the twin's room. I got them ready already tired from the events. I fed them quickly and I grabbed my cereal bar and walked out the door with them in tow. I had to tell my mom and Jim that I loved them, but I couldn't do this anymore. Just carrying them and my book bag was already pain especially with my scar.

I buckled them into their car seats and slammed the door. I stood there for a second it looked like rain and I mentally cursed because I didn't remember if I left the umbrella in my locker or in my room. I shook my head and got into the driers seat. I buckled myself in and turned Barney on for them. I turned the car on and turned the radio on. Taylor Swift's voice rang into my ears as I pulled out of the drive way. My book bag sat in the passenger seat with my cereal bar on top of it. I grabbed the bar as I came to a stop light and ripped it open. I ate my breakfast while driving. By the time I reached the daycare it was 7:50am. I was going to be late. I rushed the twins in with their diaper bag. I kissed them good-bye and ran back to my car to see the time. I had five minutes. I sighed and pressed down on the gas.

I sped into the parking lot of East High already hating this day and parked badly in a parking spot. I grabbed my bag and ran into the door and to my locker. The hallways were empty as I opened the lock. It wouldn't open. I tried it three more times. "FUCK!" I slammed my locker and just forgot about it. I had my math stuffing my bag anyway. I ran up two flights of stairs and to my math class. I was out of breath by the time I reached the class. I opened the door and everyone's head turned towards me. I blushed as I walked to my teacher who looked really mad.

"Ms. Montez nice of you to join us. Do you have a pass?" she asked me. I shook my head no afraid to speak because my throat was killing me.

She walked over to her desk and pulled out a pad of pink slips. Pity was burning inside of me. Why I don't know, but I knew what the pink slip meant I had gotten so many to have every line of why the student got detention. She wrote something down on it and walked over to me. I took the slip after hearing a few words from my fellow classmates. I walked to my seat and sat down. I opened my books, but didn't pay attention to the lesson. I just wanted to cry and I had advanced chemistry next. I had detention today at 2:30. My appointment was at 3:30. Detention ended at 3:00. It takes me thirty minutes to get to the hospital. I sighed and when the bell rang I copied down the homework and put the books in my heavy bag. I grabbed my detention slip and walked to my locker slowly because I didn't care anymore. I tried very calmly to open my lock and it opened. I rolled my eyes and put my books away and taking out ones I needed. I left my Chemistry books in my locker because I just wanted to go to the guidance counselor. I just wanted to cry to someone or something. I walked up to the fourth floor and down the hallways. They were empty again. I knocked on Mrs. Jodi's office door praying she wasn't with anyone else right now. Her soft voice yelled to come in. I opened the door and smiled at her. She looked surprised to see me.

"Gabriella, how have you been?" she asked me, her blonde hair up in a pony tail.

I didn't trust my voice as I sat down, but I had to speak.

"I'm good and you." I asked her.

"I'm good. How's the college search going? Have all your applications in?"

Nope I have two more to send in. "Yes I do."

"Well you obviously didn't come to talk to me about college since you're done. What's up?"

"Umm…I just feel…I don't know." I looked down at my hands nervously.

"I have this friend her name is…Susan and she's been hiding something for awhile now." I looked up at her and she had her hand under her chin looking at me.

"We all noticed her change drastically, but she won't say anything. I looked them up on the internet and she has cancer. I'm not sure which one, but she has cancer. She hasn't told anyone and I'm scared for her. I'm scared that she might die. Or I'm scared that she might tell us and we won't believe her, but I'm mostly scared that she's going to miss life." I cried for myself as I told my little white lie. I cried hard and I tried to brush away my tears angrily.

"Gabi, do her parents know?" she asked as she handed me the tissue box. I accepted the box and held it in my lap.

"No, she doesn't want anyone to know I just watched her and took in every in every detail of her. She looks tired and that's not because of the lack of sleep. She has cancer I know she does." I mumbled. I just wanted someone's advice on what to do without them knowing it was me who had cancer.

"Well do you know if she still has the cancer?" she asked me. Her voice was filled with concern.

"She said she went to Florida over the break, but she didn't her skin is still pale. She has pale skin…its pale she had to have gone to the hospital. She's eighteen…just I don't know what to do for her if she doesn't tell me what's wrong with her."

"Well it's a hard for her Gabriella. Maybe she just needs time to figure out what's going on."

That's when I snapped.

"She's known for a freaking month or two! I've known for a month or two! She's just…I fell like I'm loosing her and I don't know what to do. Why would someone hide…?" I stopped myself when I felt like I was making Susan sound real. I shook my head and looked at her.

"I just want some advice on how I can help her…" I said. Mrs. Jodi was talking, but I tuned her out. I'm so stupid…I just don't want my family to worry, but their still worrying because I'm acting weird. I would just have to hold out for two more months to see if this is really gone.

The bell rang and she wrote me a note for chemistry and a late pass for my next class. I smiled at her and walked out of the door. I walked downstairs to my chemistry class and gave her the note. She said I could get the notes and homework from someone else handing me five handouts. I smiled at her and walked to my next class. Creative writing class. I loved that class. I gave Mr. C my pass and he gave us today's lesson.

He told us that we were all going to write a story and short story or something longer then that if we wished to. He was going to pick the best one and published it for the school's newspaper special edition where would story would be the whole paper. He also told us that he would be sending it in another competition. We were all excited. Even I was. A smile tingled on my lips as I started writing in my notebook. Some students were talking to each other giving ideas and asking for names of characters. I was just writing off of the top of my head. A Girl with many secrets. How…me. The bell rang and I literally ran out of the class and down the stairs to my locker. I stood next to my locker and started entering the combination. I opened it and put the heavy text books in the boring locker shelves.

"You were late today. Didn't even see you in homeroom." Chad said as he came up and opened his locker.

This was it, the cheery and happy face. I looked and smiled at him. "I kind of took my time coming to school this morning, made myself late. Even got detention for it." I said showing him my pretty pink slip. He looked at made a face.

"Ouch, but guess what, I get to serve it with you. I kind of, sort of, knocked over Mrs. Darbus' globe and breaking it. It was not pretty." Chad said closing his locker. The halls were getting emptier as the bell rang for class.

"Ha-ha me and you detention buddy's. Hey I'll meet you down stairs. I just need to find my books." I said looking at him. He nodded his head and walked down the hall nodding his head. I reached to the top shelf taking out the white bag and taking out my pretty pills. I shoved them in my mouth and got my water bottle from my bag. I took a long sip and closed it and dropping it into my bag. I closed my locker happy for lunch as I walked down stairs.

I walked into the lunch room and I soon found Sharpay's eyes staring into mine. I smiled at her and she smiled, but it was a…weird smile. I ignored it and walked fast to my table and sat down. "Hey, so we heard you got detention." Ryan said.

I looked at Chad and he shrugged. "Yeah, I did. I kind of took my sweet time getting to school."

"So I guess my evil plan won't follow through." Troy said. I looked at him as I took my sandwich from my bag out.

"I'm kidding Gabi." He laughed. I rolled my eyes chewing on my yummy sandwich.

"Hey Gabi, do you wanna hang out after you get out of detention?" Sharpay asked.

"Um, sorry can't. My mom and J-Dad need me home." I said. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure, but are you sure you can't get out it, whatever it is? Tay Kelsi, and I are going to finalize our prom shopping."

"Agh, no I'm sorry just take picture of the dresses and send them to my phone I'll tell you what I think of them." I said.

"Yea, but we wanted you there." Taylor said looking at me.

"I know, I'm sorry." I gave a sad face and took a bit out of my sandwich. We all fell into our own conversations except Sharpay. I looked away from her and just sat in my own world. Classes ran through the day and I found myself sitting in detention with Chad. One thing about detention, it sucks butt. I yawned and looked at Chad who was drooling all over his desk. I laughed and shook my head.

There was five more minutes. I had to get out of school. It's been a long day. After lunch Sharpay kept questioning me what I had to do for my parents. It was a pain, but I pulled through it. Our teacher looked up at the five students including Chad and I and dismissed us. I got up and hit Chad in the head.

"BOO!" I yelled.

"Gabi, your not scary." He said sitting up and looking at the empty classroom.

"I try, come on we're out early and I have to get home." I said walking out of the classroom. I heard Chad stumbling behind me.

"Ok, so I'll see you tomorrow, try not to be late tomorrow." He said running from me. I smile and walked out of the school and to my car. I got it and turned it on. The radio was on playing songs. I drove as fast as I could to the hospital, I just wanted today over with. I was tired and I knew my treatment today was going to be bad. I felt it. I pulled into the hospital parking and turned my car off. Ten minutes early, score!

I walked into the building ready to get this over with and do my homework. I walked up to the right floor and went into the room where the nurse led me to. I sat down in the chair and took off my sweater. The nurse set me up and started the treatment. I smiled at her and looked around the room to see if anything had changed about it. My phone started ringing and I went to my bag that was next me on the chair and looked at the caller ID. It was Sharpay. I opened it. "Hello."

"Hey Gabi, I'm at your house, or I'm just leaving it. Your mom told me you were working today…" I heard Sharpay's voice rattled into her phone.

"Umm…yea I forgot today was Monday. I'm actually at work right now." I said into my phone.

"That can't be true the guys are there eating. Your not working today either. So will I have to play detective longer to will you just spill where you are." She said. The patience in her voice was there.

"Listen Shar, I can't talk right now. I'll call you later bye." I shut my phone turning it off in the progress. I closed my eyes…I wish Susan would tell the truth to her family and friends.

**A/N** SO it's been…seen months, crap, I know. I am determined to finished this story no mtter even if it means I get one review a chapter. I am very sorry for taking forever to update. I don't even remember school from Jan. I really don't it's a blur, but I wanna get this story finished by September. Hopefully.

I wanna thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter and who will read this chapter and review. Im sorry it has taken this long to update.

Thank you


	18. Chapter 18

November

Gabriella's POV

When did my life turn into a mess? Well I know it was a mess before all of this, but when did it come to this? After hanging up the phone with Sharpay I sat in the chair with my phone clutch in my right hand. If it wasn't an iPhone I probably would have thrown it against the wall. I closed my eyes letting the few tears fall from my eyes.

"Are you ok Gabriella?" I opened my eyes to see Nurse Katie come in. She was the one who usually set my IV up for me and what not. She was leading an elderly lady in the room and began setting her up to an IV.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said simling.

"You sure? You look a bit pale? Are you in pain?" she said looking over at me.

"Yes, I'm just nervous for this test tomorrow." I said looking down at my arm.

"Ok well if you need anything just press the button." She said to me. "Same goes to Mrs. Larkin."

Katie left the room and the room was once again filled with silence. "What's your name?" the voice startled me until I realized it was the women next to me.

"Um, it's Gabriella." I didn't want to talk to anyone. Why was she talking to me.

"Well I'm Mrs. Larkin. What are you in for?"

Why must all elderly people be nice or talkative? I looked over at the women. She looked so happy. Her eyes looked like an ocean which reminded me of Troy's. I smiled at the thought of his eyes. She looked so fragile yet she looked like she could punch someone out if needed. I took a deep breath in. I never spoke to anyone about my condition except with Dr. Wilson and Dr. Dessen. She would be the first person I admitted what I had to. "Breast cancer…type II b you?"

Mrs. Larkin smiled at me and raised both hands in a questioning way. "What don't I have." She laughed. I raised an eyebrow questioning what she meant. "I had breast cancer, but after my last check-up session with my doctor he found cancer cells in my lungs and my left breast. They want me to do a round of chemo before going into surgery to remove the tumors."

I let out a small oh and looked at the blue wall. "How old are you dear?"

I turned back to her, "I'm eighteen, going to be nineteen December 1st." Why was I telling her this.

The room grew quiet. I knew she wanted to say something, probably sorry for being sick at this age or something like that. "It's a terrible disease. Although look at it this way people are jealous of how skinny we are." She joked.

I laughed a little. "Where's your family?"

My family…my family doesn't know. "They're working. Where are you from? I don't recognize your accent from anywhere." I asked directing the conversation to her before she could ask any more questions. We spoke for the next thirty minutes about her and her family.

She had been sick for while now. She found out she had breast cancer in her right breast and got it removed and had gone through chemo to remove any cancerous cells. She had doctor appointments every four months making sure nothing came back. She had skipped an appointment to go on a cruise ship with her children and grandchildren. The next appointment she had they discovered the cancer cells. She didn't want to go through chemo or surgery again. She wanted nature to take its course, but it was her kids who convinced her to go through the whole process again. She told me she was glad her kids made her fight. She got to see her youngest child finally get married last week. Her eldest daughter who was told she could never conceive a child found out she is pregnant. Mrs. Larkin told me she was going to fight to live so she could see that grandchild being born. Sure she would miss a lot of the baby's life but seeing he or she born would make her life worth it. I smiled as she told me her story. She has such a great support system around her.

"So, enough about me, how about you dear? Who is your family taking this? After all you are so young." She asked me.

Before I could reply Katie came in. "Well Gabriella, you are all done for today. We'll see you on Wednesday." She said disconnecting me from the IV's and putting a band-aid from where the needle was.

"Thank you." I said standing up slowly. I was always dizzy after chemo, but I had to make do. I bent down to pick up my stuff. I turned to Mrs. Larkin. "I'll see you around." I smiled waving good bye to her. She smiled back at me. "Good luck, hun." She replied.

When I got home it was around ten at night. I felt nauseous while driving home and had to pull over. The granola bar from this morning was now on the side of the road. Getting back in the car felt so painful that I just sat there for awhile. When I finally gathered myself and got myself home I just climbed the stairs to my room. I opened my bedroom door and closed it behind me. I dropped my bag beside my desk and just climbed into bed. I looked at the clock on my nightstand. 10:15 p.m.

I had a lot of homework to do, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt so weak and I didn't want to get up. I wanted to wave a white flag and say I give up. I closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take me. It usually took an hour, but this time I fell asleep quickly.

From the moment my alarm clock started ringing I knew I could have slept longer. I pushed myself off my bed and just got into the shower. I threw my wet hair into a tight bun and pulled on jeans a sweater and sneakers. I didn't care what I looked like today. Today was going to be busy due to the fact I didn't do any of my homework last night. I got the twins ready and quickly grabbed myself an orange. I dropped Lucy and James off at the daycare and continued to drive myself to school. At a stop light I peeled the last of the orange skin off and started to eat the sour orange.

I had ten minutes to spare when I got to school. Those ten minutes were going to be used to do my math homework. After grabbing the books I need for my morning classes I ran to homeroom. When I finally sat down I took out my books and started circling the right answers on the math sheet. "Well, well, well if it isn't Miss Gabriella Montez." It was Sharpay.

"Hey Shar, listen I would love to chat but I have to get this done." I said smiling to her. I looked back down at the paper. She let out a sigh, but sat down next to me and began filing her nails. I could feel her eyes on me. I shifted feeling uncomfortable under her stare.

I finally finished just before the bell for homeroom rang and looked around. "Where's Troy?" I asked Chad.

"He's sick. Didn't he tell you?"

"No is he ok?" I asked.

"You sure he said he texted you." Chad said.

My phone…I haven't looked at it since my phone call with Sharpay since yesterday. I reached down into my bag muttering to myself. Of course there were three missed calls from Sharpay, two picture messages and one test message from Troy.

"_Hey Babe, not going to school tomorrow. I think I caught the stomach flu. Remind Chad to bring me the homework. I know your working late tomorrow. Love you Troy."5_

I was a bad girlfriend a very bad girlfriend. I hit the keyboard to type message back to him.

"_Hey Troy so sorry! I never checked my phone at all yesterday. I hope you feel better. If you need anything let me know. I love you xoxo Gabriella"_

Before I realized I said Gabriella I pressed send. I shook my head. He wouldn't notice. "Chad Troy said to remind you about his homework."

He nodded his head. I tossed my phone into my bag. School dragged on slowly. The classes were dull and as usual the teachers were cranky as ever. It wasn't until lunch when I realized I forgot my lunch on the kitchen counter along with my wallet. I had no money to get lunch…that and I was driving without a license. Prefect.

Lucky for me I got to steal some of Ryan's lunch since he was on a quote diet.

Sharpay didn't bother me at all today, well that was until I was walking to my car to go to work. "Hey montez!"

I turned around and smiled at her. "Why are you using my last name?"

"Just felt like using it. What the hell is going on with you?" she asked finally catching up to my walking pace.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I'm just in a rush to get to work."

"No, no, no I mean last night. You totally lied to us and your parents. Where were you?"

I stopped at my car and started digging for my keys in my bag. "I was out."

Before I knew it Sharpay grabbed my bag from me. "Hey-!" I started to protest.

"Gabi, look I'm just concerned about you." she said looking at me.

"Well there is nothing to be concerned about. I'm just over worked." I said.

"Then why did Mrs. Jodi ask Taylor how you were doing about your friend Susan? Who the hell is Susan anyways?"

I rolled my eyes and snatched my bag back from Sharpay and found my keys. "First of all Mrs. Jodi should have come to me about that matter and Susan is an old friend. No if you don't mind I have work. If you want to Sharpay you can show up and make sure I'm there. I don't have time for this." I said opening my door and climbing into the car. I closed the door shut and put my seatbelt on.

I was five minutes late clocking into work because of my talk with Sharpay. It wasn't her fault I knew she was worried, but I couldn't deal with my friends or family right now. After changing in the locker room into my work clothes I went out to serve my tables. After just spending three hours at work I managed to screw up three orders, spill one tables food on the floor and drop five tray's of drinks. I was obviously having a bad day. Jake told me to go home and that he would cover for me. I nodded my head knowing my eyes were watering. I didn't bother to change out of my clothes and I just ordered soup and grabbed my stuff to leave.

"Thank you Jake." I said kissing his cheek and leaving him. I put the soup in the cup holder so it wouldn't spill.

I was going to bring the soup to Troy. My phone had died during school so I didn't know if he called or not. I pulled up in front of his house and saw Chad's and Taylor's cars in the drive way. I frowned and got out of the car and with the soup in my hands. I walked slowly to the front door. "Gabriella, it's good to see you. Long time no see!" Mrs. Bolton smiled at me and gave me a one arm hug.

"Hi, it's good to see you again. I brought Troy soup to make him feel better." I said trying to keep my smile up.

"Well everyone is outside in the back yard. They have been whispering out there and each time I come outside they stop talking. It's like they are planning something. Troy's feeling better. I think it was one of those day bugs, but I'll put the soup in the fridge for him." She said to me. I nodded my head and walked to the back door. Through the glass I could see Taylor, Chad, Troy, Kelsi, Ryan, Sharpay, and Zeke sitting next to the pool. Kelsi was talking and everyone was looking at her except for Troy who was looking at the ground. I lifted my hand to open the door, but stopped when I heard Sharpay say my name. They were talking about me. I turned abruptly and just stormed out of the house. I could hear Mrs. Bolton yelling if I was ok, but I just waved and ran to my car. When I got home I told my mom I was not feeling well and couldn't take the twins to the daycare tomorrow since I was going to stay home.

I went to my room locking the door and just slid down to the floor, but just as I did I felt my stomach lurching. I got up and ran to my bathroom just in time to throw up bile.

I wipe my mouth with my sleeve and flushed the toilet. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.

I needed help.

**A/N ** long time no see? So sorry for not updating. I have just been so busy with school, but now that I have a month off hopefully I can finish this story. This chapter is very choppy, but it's all I've got, but next chapter will be better I promise!

Thank you for all who have stuck with this story.:)


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